Michael Scott: They say that your wedding day goes by in such a flash that you're lucky if you even get a piece of your own cake. I say, that's crazy. I say, "Let them eat cake." Margaret Thatcher said that about marriage. Smart broad.

Michael Scott: No need for consternation. Everything is under control.
Jan: [on the phone] Michael, last Friday, one of your employees attacked another employee in your office.
Michael Scott: It was a crime of passion, Jan. Not a disgruntled employee. Everyone here is extremely gruntled.

Stanley: This is ridiculous.
Phyllis: Do you have any idea what time we get out of here?
Michael Scott: Nobody likes to work late. Least of all, me. You have plans tonight?
Jim: No, I don't. Remember when you told us not to make plans 'cause we were working?
Michael Scott: Yes, I remember. Mmm. This is B.S. This is B.S. Why are we here? I am gonna call corporate. Enough is enough. I'm- God, I'm so mad! [on the phone] This is Michael Scott, Scranton. We don't wanna work. No, we don't! It's not fair to these people! These people are my friends, and I care about them! We're not gonna do it! [hangs up] Everybody, I just got off the horn with corporate, and basically I told them where they could stick their little overtime assignment. Go enjoy your Friday.
Dwight K. Schrute: Thank you, Michael.
Michael Scott: Well, I think we dodged a bullet there.
Jim: I think you did.
Michael Scott: I think we should celebrate. How about you, Pam, mi casa. A little dinner, dancing, drinks?
Jim: Oh, I-
Michael Scott: You said you didn't have plans. That's what you said.

Michael Scott: Pam, I hope she didn't do anything to the food.
Pam: Like what?
Michael Scott: I can't prove it, but I think she might be trying to poison me.

Michael Scott: I finally broke down and bought myself a plasma TV. Check it out. I actually hung this on the wall myself.
Jim: That's good.
Michael Scott: I wanna show you something. A lot of people in the room, you need more space voila. Right into the wall.
Jim: Wow.
Michael Scott: Sometimes, I will just stand here and watch television for hours. I love it. I love this TV.