Michael Scott: [to Dwight] It's up to you to change his mind.
Jim: Sorry. That was a family emergency.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, no. What's wrong?
Jim: You know what, that's private.
Michael Scott: Boundaries, Dwight. Come on!
Dwight K. Schrute: I'm sorry, Mr. Buttlicker. As I was saying, we're having-
Jim: You'll have to speak a bit louder. I'm hard of hearing.
Michael Scott: He's hard of- He's an old man.
Dwight K. Schrute: As I was saying, right now we are-
Jim: You're gonna have to talk louder.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay. Our prices have never been lower.
Jim: Son, you have to talk louder.
Dwight K. Schrute: Never been lower.
Jim: Louder, son!
Dwight K. Schrute: Buttlicker, our prices have never been lower!
Michael Scott: Okay, stop it! That is totally inappropriate. You never yell at the client. Never yell at a client.
Jim: Now, you listen to me, sir. The three words I would describe you as is aggressive, hostile, and definitely difficult.
Dwight K. Schrute: Please, Mr. Buttlicker.
Jim: I'm irate right now!

Kelly: [to Dwight] You can't come into my nook and call me stupid. Maybe if you were a little bit more nice and polite, people wouldn't give such bad customer reviews.
Dwight K. Schrute: The reason that I got bad customer reviews is because I didn't! There is a massive conspiracy going on here, and I know you're involved.
Kelly: Dwight, get out of my nook!
Pam: [over Bluetooth speaker] That's what she said! That's what she said!
Jim: Good one.

Jim: Those reports affect our bonuses. Which is kind of great for me because, you wouldn't know from looking at her but Pam's a gold digger.
Pam: [on Bluetooth speaker] Hey, New York ain't free. Get back to work.

Michael Scott: Dwight, your feedback is horrible.
Dwight K. Schrute: That's impossible.
Michael Scott: A number of your clients found your personal style abrasive and distasteful?
Dwight K. Schrute: I sell more paper than anyone.
Michael Scott: No, no, no, no.
Dwight K. Schrute: Wait, is this a joke? I'm getting that queasy feeling that sometimes accompanies jokes.
Michael Scott: Do I look like I am joking?
Dwight K. Schrute: No, but that's sometimes part of it.
Michael Scott: If I were joking, you'd be laughing. Do you look like you are laughing?
Dwight K. Schrute: Impossible to say. I can't see myself.
Michael Scott: You're not.

Dwight K. Schrute: I caught Jim talking to himself several times today. What a loser. Get a friend, loser!

Michael Scott: So let's see what we can find out from reading. "Jim Halpert is smudge and arrogant."
Jim: I think you mean "smug".
Michael Scott: Arrogance.
Jim: Michael, I'm just trying to-
Michael Scott: And there's our smudgeness.

Jim: Pam. Sorry about that. I lost you for a second. So as it turns out, I may not have done so hot on my customer reviews this year.
Pam: [on Bluetooth speaker] Maybe it's cause you spent whole year flirting with the receptionist.
Jim: A little bit. Worth it.

Michael Scott: Here's what's going to happen. I am going to have to fix you. Manage you two on a more personal scale. A more micro form of management. Jim, what is that called?
Jim: Microgement.
Michael Scott: Boom! Yes!

Dwight K. Schrute: I've got to put you on with my boss.
Jim: Well, I should hope so. Who is this?
Michael Scott: Hello, this is Michael Scott, regional manager.
Jim: This is William M. Buttlicker.
Michael Scott: Hello, Mr. Buttlicker. How may we help you?
Jim: Michael, I like the sound of your voice. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna buy $1 million worth of paper products today.
Michael Scott: [to Dwight] See how it's done? Thank you very much, sir. I don't think you'll regret it.
Dwight K. Schrute: You're the master.
Jim: There is one condition, Michael. You have to fire the salesman that treated me so terribly.
Dwight K. Schrute: Don't do it, Michael.
Michael Scott: It's a million-dollar sale.

Andy: So, it's called the Shangri-La tent. It's two stories, heated, and it has a bridal suite for my bridal sweet. It's just really simple. Really tasteful.
Angela: I don't want to be married in a tent like a hobo.
Andy: Hobos live in trains.
Angela: Nana Mimi can't be in canvas that long.