Toby: [in church] Why you always got to be so mean to me?

Michael Scott: What is happening? Oh, God, what is happening?
Andy: Do you smell like a weird, warm cheese?
Michael Scott: Oh, God, you know what? I'm gonna be in Mexico for my half-birthday.
Andy: And the Christmas party.
Michael Scott: And Cinco de Mayo.
Andy: Nah, no. We'll be back before that.
Michael Scott: No, we-No. You know how these things go. Construction projects, they say three months, and then, after two years, the lazy bums haven't even started. Now we're those lazy bums.

Erin: Do you guys want me to take you home or go back to the church?
Michael Scott: Is anyone still at the church?
Erin: No, actually most of them went to go see a movie.
Michael Scott: What? Shut up.
Erin: Yeah. Kevin suggested it, and then they all went in Meredith's minivan.
Michael Scott: It is so nice to be back in a country that has movies.

Pam: Cece's getting christened today.
Jim: Big day.
Pam: Everyone from work is here. We weren't planning on that.
Jim: Nope.

Michael Scott: Top of the Sunday morning to you.
Andy: And a top of the day to you too, sir.
Ryan: Hope you brought your pipes. We're about to smoke the opium of the masses.
Michael Scott: Oh, yes. Doobie-doobie doo.

Michael Scott: I invited everyone in the office because it's not a day for just Jim or Pam or the baby or me. It is about us all. And I thought we should all celebrate... my joy. And our- All of ours joys.

Toby: Sunday church service? It's been a few years. The Big Guy and I, we got some catching up to do.

Michael Scott: I don't even know how to say this, but Cece is turning out to be a little b-i-t-c-h. And that's not true, but her parents are kind of boxing me out.

Pastor: You may have seen the bus out front. Today we also say good-bye to our young adult ministry. They're leaving for three months to build a school for the village of Quimixto, in Cabo Corrientes, Mexico.
Ryan: [to Michael] I've heard of that place. If you go to Cabo San Lucas, all the prostitutes are from Cabo Corrientes.

Pastor: Before we go, I'd like to remind everyone that the "Halberts" have been kind enough to host a reception next door immediately following the service.
Jim: Mmm. No. Wrong on both counts.
[aside to camera:]
Jim: Okay, "A," Halbert. And, "B," I think a more appropriate statement would be, "The 'Halberts' are hosting an intimate reception for their invited guests."