Michael Scott: Okay. Anyone? Anyone? At all? Accounting? I am accounting on you to go to lunch with me.

Erin: Hi, guys. How you doing?
Dwight K. Schrute: Erin, how many times do I have to tell you? It is not necessary for you to ask us how we are doing every time you interact with us.
Erin: Right. I'm sorry.
Dwight K. Schrute: [sighs] Now, how can I help you?
Erin: Did somebody here leave a map in the printer to Youngstown, Ohio?
Dwight K. Schrute: Attention, office. Who here is planning a trip to Youngstown, Ohio? I will take your silence to mean that you are all hiding something. This location is the Superior Court...
Pam: So someone is going to a court. Big deal.
Dwight K. Schrute: It is a big deal. Cause there's only a handful of reasons why someone would ever go to a courthouse in Ohio and not be charged with a crime. To claim an inheritance from a deceased relative. To obtain a learner's permit at age 14 and a half instead of 15. Erin, let me see your birth certificate.
Erin: Sure.

Michael Scott: Daddy's here and daddy is going to take care of you.
Oscar: Please don't refer to yourself as our daddy.
Michael Scott: I am your Big Daddy and I am gonna kiss da boo boo.
Andy: Wittle Andy is afwaid.
Michael Scott: Andy's afwaid?
Andy: Yes.
Michael Scott: Are you all afwaid?
Dwight K. Schrute: No.
Michael Scott: Daddy's here for you. My wittle angels.

Michael Scott: Oh, no, no, no. This is no good.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah. Back injuries are common. Not as common as knee injuries but more common than wrist injuries.
Michael Scott: I don't need a history lesson, okay?
Dwight K. Schrute: What do you think history is?

Michael Scott: You all took a life here today. You did. The life of the party.

Creed: Boss, this used to hang from my windshield but it belongs in here.
Michael Scott: Hey, thank you, Creed. You're really getting this place.
Creed: No problem. I'll just have no idea who's driving behind me now.

Michael Scott: Hey! Hey! Angela, no! No cleaning up!
Angela: You are forcing me to be down here. Am I not allowed to have some fun?

Phyllis: Wanna dance, Dwight?
Dwight K. Schrute: Ordinarily, I would say no but you need to move to reduce lactic acid build-up. Also, this song is fantastic.
Bob Vance: Mind if I steal my wife?
Dwight K. Schrute: You can't steal what is legally your property.

Michael Scott: Ryan?
Ryan: I don't do lunch. I'm eating five small meals a day now.
[aside to camera:]
Ryan: Now that I'm back to doing the job of a temp, again, I find that food is one thing I can control.

Erin: Oh my God! I can't believe it! I jut won an art contest! [screams, Dwight gets up and hands Erin money] Thanks. I still don't understand why you wanted me to say that.
Dwight K. Schrute: Shut up.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: [laughs] I got her!