Michael Scott: Today is a special day because I am being honored as a visiting professor. Special lecturer? Emeritus, how did you put it?
Ryan: You will be a guest speaker in my Emerging Enterprises class.
Michael Scott: In business school, Kevin. Business school.
Kevin: Wow.

Ryan: If you bring your boss to class, it automatically bumps you up a full-letter grade. So, I'd be stupid not to do it, right?

Pam: I'm really happy to be back with Roy. I think it shows maturity, maturity and dignity. Is that braggy? I don't mean it to be braggy.

Jim: Pam's with Roy, I'm with Karen, and Brangelina is with Frangelina. Moving on!

Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, my God. Animal stool.
Pam: Dwight, what are you doing?
Dwight K. Schrute: Solving a mystery, if that's quite all right with you! Come to papa! Okay, ladies and gentlemen. What we have here is a bird that has been trapped in a vent. Fortunately, I have found it before- Bat!

Student: How far has your Herfindahl Index declined since the merger?
Michael Scott: Nice try. How's your Polack-says-what Index?
Student: What?
Michael Scott: Thanks, Kowalski.

Kevin: I am a hero.

Ryan: It wasn't personal.
Michael Scott: Business is always personal. It's the most personal thing in the world. When we get back to the office, pack your things.
Ryan: Pack my-
Michael Scott: You heard me. Pack your things.

Pam: And it's all from the same series.
Elderly Woman: Oh.
Pam: Called Impressions.
Elderly Woman: Oh.
Pam: Not that I would call myself an impressionist per se.
Elderly Woman: But maybe one day.
Pam: I hope so.
Elderly Woman: Mmm.
Pam: I still need, you know, my breakthrough or whatever.

Oscar: You're the one who said we needed more culture.
Gil: This is culture to you?
Oscar: It's her first try.
Gil: Yeah. On Van Gogh's first try, he drew the hands of the peasants.
Oscar: Meaning what?
Gil: Meaning real art takes courage, okay, and honesty.
Pam: Well, those aren't Pam's strong points.
Gil: Yeah, exactly. That's why this is motel art.