Dwight K. Schrute: Kelly will be even worse than Darryl. If you'd have told me this morning that today I'd be creating a monster capable of my own destruction, I 'd have thought you were referring to the bull Mose and I are trying to reanimate.

Michael Scott: Buenos dias, Jaime.
Jim: Buenos dias, Miguel. Como estas? Bien? Claro que si! Yo estoy fantastico. Que pasa?
Michael Scott: Ha ha! Buenos dias, Dwight!
Dwight K. Schrute: Guten tag, Herr Michael.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: I don't understand why Michael is wasting his time with Spanish. I have it on very good authority that within 20 years, everyone will be speaking German. Or a Chinese-German hybrid.

Michael Scott: What sort of movie would Rudy have been if he had just stopped, given up, after two rejections? Would have been a lot shorter. Probably been a lot funnier. But it would have ultimately been a disappointment. I still would have seen it, but that's not... the point.

Dwight K. Schrute: What I'm offering is a ticket on a bullet train straight to middle management.
Stanley: Dwight, I know these programs. "Every color is important because, together, we make a rainbow."
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes.
Stanley: I'll slap you in the face with a rainbow.

Dwight K. Schrute: How do I apply?
Gabe: You have to be a minority.
Dwight K. Schrute: Uh, glasses wearers. Cholera survivors. Geniuses. Non-organic family farmers. The list goes on and on. You want me to keep going?
Gabe: Those don't really count. We're thinking more ethnic and racial minorities.

Dwight K. Schrute: Just once, I would like to be a puppet master and have nothing go wrong. Is that too much to ask?

Gabe: Darryl withdrew his application. He said the Yale program interfered with his softball league, you know? He's gone.
[aside to camera:]
Darryl: I got my whole life to be a minority executive. I only have about a year left in these knees, though.

Gabe: That's very nice. [about Kelly's bindi] I never noticed that before.
Kelly: Sometimes my bangs cover it.
Gabe: Yeah. I don't want to be offensive but, uh... may I ask you what that means?
Kelly: I do find that offensive, actually.

Michael Scott: Buenos dias, Erin.
Erin: Buenos dias, Miguel. [phone rings] Hello, Dunder-Mifflin.
Michael Scott: No, no, no, no. Solamente en espanol, por favor.
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: I believe that every man, woman, and child in this country should learn how to speak Spanish. They are our neighbors to the South, and this would be a healing thing for... for all of North America. And I am going on vacation next week to Cancun.

Kevin: Look at that. She's totally flirting with him.
Phyllis: You don't know that. Some people can't help oozing sexuality.
Creed: You ever notice you can ooze two things: sexuality and pus. Man, I tell ya.