Oscar: Your office is full of genitalia.
Michael Scott: [clears throat] Oh. Eso es lo que dice, el!
Oscar: "That's what he says?"
Michael Scott: Damn it.

Michael Scott: La telefona.
Oscar: El telefono.
[aside to camera:]
Oscar: Michael's having a hard time with the gender part of Spanish. So I told him to mark everything with the international symbol for gender. And, um... [holds up two Post-It notes featuring drawings of male and female genitalia] I should have been more specific.

Gabe: You would have weekly conference calls with executives in corporate ,a two-week training program at the Yale school of management. Obviously you would be high on the list for advancement opportunities.
Darryl: Sounds all right.
Dwight K. Schrute: What is this?
Gabe: Oh, this is "Print in All Colors," Sabre's minority executive training program.
Dwight K. Schrute: It doesn't just sound a'ight, it sounds amazing.
Darryl: I didn't say "a'ight."

Dwight K. Schrute: One minority from this branch is going to get into this program. Who would I prefer? Hmm. The competent, hardworking one who does things his own way, or the malleable simpleton who can be bought for a few fashion magazines?

Kelly: [on the phone] This is the second time that you've sent me the wrong size. I mean, I know what a four feels like. I've been a four my whole life. You know what? You can go to Hell. All right? Thanks for nothing.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, man. White people, right?
Kelly: I don't know if she was white.
Dwight K. Schrute: Well, you can kinda tell from the voice.
Kelly: Yeah.
Dwight K. Schrute: I bet you get pulled over by the cops a lot, just because of your race.
Kelly: Well, they say it's because of texting, but maybe you're right.
Dwight K. Schrute: I think you should consider applying for the executive minority training program.
Kelly: Never thought of myself as an executive before.
Dwight K. Schrute: I know, 'cause you have no role models. How many Indian CEOs can you think of?
Kelly: I can't think of any CEOs, any race.
Dwight K. Schrute: You could be the Indian Bill Gates. You could be the Indian Ted Turner.
Kelly: I could be the Indian Julia Roberts.
Dwight K. Schrute: That's not- She's- Okay. Yes.

Oscar: I don't see how we could possibly sell these for that little without losing money. Delivery alone will cost-
Michael Scott: Okay, well sometimes... sometimes it makes financial sense to lose money, right? Like for tax purposes.
Oscar: Actually, ran the numbers on this, and in this case, it makes more financial sense to gain money.
Michael Scott: Why don't you run them again?

Dwight K. Schrute: You know, we really should keep practicing for this interview.
Kelly: Oh, that's okay. Ryan coached me.
Dwight K. Schrute: Ryan? What does he know?
Ryan: It's easy... you just turn every question around on them. Do you think you're treated differently because of your race?
Kelly: Would you ask that same question if I was white? We're so in.
Dwight K. Schrute: "We?"
Kelly: When I become executive, I'm gonna make Ryan manager.
Ryan: And then the two of us are cleanin' house.

Dwight K. Schrute: Kelly is disqualified!
Gabe: What?
Dwight K. Schrute: You said the program is not open to Caucasians. Well... Anthropologically, she is Indian. Indians migrated from the caucuses region of Europe. Therefore, technically, she is Caucasian. You're welcome, America.
Gabe: Yeah, but she's not white, though.
Dwight K. Schrute: Well, obviously, she is brownish. But come on, I mean, Darryl is far more ethnic.

Kelly: For hobbies, um, yoga, belly dancing, snake charming. Beds of nails. I like lying on them.
Dwight K. Schrute: Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa! This is Hidetoshi Hasagawa. He would like to apply for the Sabre minority executive training program "print in all colors" initiative.
Kelly: Dwight, what are you doing?
Dwight K. Schrute: Helping heal America in a dramatic fashion in the 11th hour.
Kelly: God, I hate you so much!
Dwight K. Schrute: Caucasians, am I right?

Andy: You know, when I tore my scrote, I was, uh- I was seeing this really hot urologist about it, and thought she was into me. But now I think she was just doing a bunch of stuff to bill my HMO. You know, she's touching around down there. It's easy to get confused.