Brick: I don't get it. One second, I'm walking down the hall with my best friend, and the next second, he's swallowed up by the football team.
Mike: Troy's on the football team?
Brick: Really? That's your takeaway from this conversation?
Mike: Well, I'm just saying... football... a lot of people think that's a big deal. Aren't you happy for him?
Brick: No, not at all. Not even a little.
Mike: That sounds a little selfish, don't you think?
Brick: It's not just about him being popular. I mean, he didn't even show up for Font Club.
Mike: That could be for a lot of reasons. Maybe you just got to put in a little more effort, Brick, that's all. And, hey, find out what position they got him playing, 'cause they really need a nose tackle. Although, they could put him somewhere on the O-line.
Brick: [sighs] Fine. Write down the sports words, and I'll try and ask.

Axl: Mm-mwah. I knew Grandma sent you fudge.
Sue: Didn't she send you any?
Axl: Yeah, but it's gone. I knew I could count on your "I'll only eat one a day to make the pleasure last" theory.
Sue: Okay, well, you do not deserve fudge, Axl. Your advice didn't work.
Axl: What? Did you act like a jerk?
Sue: Yes! You would have been so proud of me. I was totally obnoxious, but he didn't care.
Axl: Amateur. You want me to break up with him for you?
Sue: You would do that for me?
Axl: Of course, Sue. You're my sister. I'd do anything for you. And 20 bucks.
Sue: You would charge your own family?
Axl: Hey, the Boss Co. Break Up Service rate is normally $25. I'm giving you a family discount.
Sue: What about all the chocolate you've been eating?
Axl: You're right. I should probably buy my own chocolate. Better make it $25.

Frankie: Boop.
Mike: You didn't return them, did you?
Frankie: No, I did not. In fact, I bought more, and I'm happy I did. I am telling you, Mike, these things are power. Mm-hmm. You know what? I'm gonna finally quit the gym. They keep sucking me in with their free magnets and their little measuring cups for doling out cereal. Well, I'll have as much cereal as I want, Mindy, 'cause I'm a metabolizing machine.
Mike: You go, girl.
Frankie: Oh, I didn't get that pair, but I got some good ones. So, I'm not gonna tell you what they are, so make sure you wear your reading glasses to bed tonight.

Delivery Guy: Got a pizza for Sue Hack.
Sue: That's me. Wait a minute. [sighs] No, I-I ordered a large pepperoni with extra cheese. This is a small with green peppers.
Delivery Guy: That's the pizza they gave me, so... take it or leave it. [grinding] Fine. [whoosh, clang] Are you kidding me?! The room just ate the pizza I didn't even want.
Delivery Guy: Oh, yeah. It's November 1st. That's when they reverse the air for heat, so instead of blowing, it sucks.
Sue: Yes. Yes, it does. I hate this room and I hate Jeremy. What happened to me? I used to stand up for myself. I used to have grit. I fought for everything I've ever gotten. Gah! And now I'm just a doormat? No, no, not anymore! You, get me the right pizza. You, starting packing, 'cause we're leaving this dump. And me, I've got a boyfriend to break up with.

Frankie: [v.o.] Well, I didn't quit the gym. When I got there, the underwear kicked in, and I wanted to work out. Plus, Mindy made some excellent points. And they have these new collapsible bowls now that you can pop in your purse and just take right to a restaurant. Makes portion control so much easier.
[Frankie falls forward, her knees scrape along the treadmill pulling down her pants and revealing her "I'd Hit That" underpants as she is flung back onto the floor]

Frankie: [v.o.] You know, it's funny where you draw your power from. It could be from your underpants. It could be from a pizza-stealing vent. And sometimes, it can come from a really good friend.
Cindy: Then I said...
Brick: You know what? Why don't we just dispense with the reading of the minutes. All in favor... [Brick and Cindy raise their hands]
Troy: Sorry I'm late.
Brick: Troy. What are you doing here?
Troy: We're discussing Helvetica Bold, right? Wouldn't want to miss that. In fact, I told the whole football team about it.
Brick: Really? [nobody else walks in] Well, we should probably get started.

Brick: Um, okay. Cindy, did you make your list of top-five fonts?
Cindy: Yes. Nexa Bold.
Brick: Mmhmm.
Cindy: Manifesto.
Brick: Mm.
Cindy: I know, Brick, I know. You're not a fan of upper case. But I happen to like that it's inspired by the Italian rationalist movement of the 1920s.
Brick: No, it's fine if you want a font to slap you in the face. But in my opinion, there's Bookman Old Style. That's such an artistic font. It's in so many pieces of literature nowadays. And if you want something's that's bold, there's always oblique.

Frankie: Aww, look at Brick. All full of high-school spirit.
Mike: [chuckles]
Frankie: Huh. What do you think of that?
Mike: I think he's going down.
Frankie: [sighs]

Coach: Hey, you. You ever thought about trying out for football?
Brick: Who, me?
Coach: No, the wall of man behind you. I didn't see you at tryouts. What's your name?
Brick: Brick Heck.
Coach: Again, not you. Why don't you come to practice, see if you like it. We could always use help with nose tackle.
Football Player: What's your name?
Troy: Troy Tangaroa.
Psycho: Tango. [all chant "Tango"]

Jeremy: Hey, where you been? I've been texting you all morning. Did you forget to set the alarm to get up and save our dying planet?
Sue: Nah, I got your texts. Just got, uh, other things to do. You know, been busy, doesn't matter. Whatevs.
Jeremy: Okay. Well, at least you're here now. Why don't you hand out these pamphlets.
Sue: I... [scoffs]
Jeremy: [over bullhorn] The sea ice in the Arctic Circle is melting! Sign our petition to protect the polar bears!
Sue: [over another bullhorn] I don't know. Polar bears are kind of overrated. Do they really need our help? I went to a zoo once, and they seemed fine.
Jeremy: The polar bears are dying because of man's endless thirst for oil.
Sue: Yeah, but if you're on a long road trip and you need a place to go inside and pee, where are you gonna go if you don't have a gas station? So thank you, oil. [bullhorn screeches]
Jeremy: Big corporations are pillaging Mother Earth.
Sue: But don't big corporations always have our best interests at heart?
Jeremy: No, they don't. They support child labor.
Sue: Keeps the kids off their phones, am I right?