Sue: Happy birthday to me! [slurring] Happy birthday to meeee! [squealing]
Frankie: I was gone five minutes. What happened?
Sue: Everybody is so nice when it's your birthday. They all keep giving me free drinks, and they are all so good. This one is my favorite...
Frankie: You shouldn't be mixing.
Sue: ...because it's the colors of the flag. Okay, but... No, wait, this one because it tickles my nose when I drink it. [gasps] No, wait! You're all my babies.

Bartender: From the exchange students at table nine.
Sue: Ooh.
Frankie: Oh, no, no, no. She's gonna need at least two more layers to soak everything up. I'm teaching her to drink responsibly. [drinks] Ooh, this is good. We're gonna need one more of these. Mnh-mnh.
Frankie: [v.o.] Yep, it was a good thing I was there for Sue so I could teach her how to drink responsibly.

Sue: [gasps] Wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Wait, wait! The dragon! I still got to kiss the dragon.
Frankie: What dragon? My ass is draggin'.
Sue: [laughs] You said "ass." You're so funny.
Frankie: I know! Ooh, I got another one, I got another one.
Sue: Yeah?
Frankie: My ass is draggin'. [both laugh]

Sean: Suzy Q? What's going on?
Sue: Sean! Oh! I'm gonna kiss the dragon.
Sean: Oh, right. It's your 21st birthday.
Sue: Aww, you knew?
Sean: Of course. Plus, the sash didn't hurt.

Sean: You know what, I'm on my way home. Why don't I help make sure you get these two home safe?
Sue: Yay! Sean's coming to the dragon!
Sean: Sue, what time were you born?
Sue: 9:36 p.m. at night. Why?
Sean: You're in luck. Tradition says you have 24 hours after you turn 21 to kiss the dragon, and you'll get a much better picture if you take it tomorrow during the day.
Sue: Sean, you're so smart, Sean. You should totally be a doctor, like, right now.

Frankie: Add curly fries to the list of things I can't eat anymore.

Brick: Wait. Dad, no. Not the microfiche! Please! Take my phone! I care about my phone so much!
Mike: Oh, no. See, this is what happens when you don't listen, Brick. [removes bulb from machine] Your microfiche privileges are revoked until... [drops bulb]
Brick: Thank God it landed on the carpet. Those bulbs are impossible to replace.
Mike: Okay, hang on. Just where'd the... [steps on bulb]
Brick: Thanks, Dad. This has been the perfect day.

Axl: Okay, read me back what we got so far.
Hutch: [exhales] Right. Uh... [clears throat] "Kenny, buddy..."
Axl: Was that it?
Hutch: Yeah.
Axl: I thought we had more!

Sue: Can I say something? I want to say something. [to Sean] I like you! I really like you!
Sean: Think you mean this guy.
Sue: I don't think I can make it to my room. I need to lay down.
Aidan: Okay, where?
Sue: Oh. [drops to the floor]
Sean: I got it. Here we go. Up, up, up.
Sue: I have something else to say. I think I'm gonna throw up.
Aidan: Oh, God. When people throw up, it makes me want to... [runs to the bathroom]
Sue: Oh! [retches] [coughs] [moans] [gasps] Oh, no. All my layers are in the trash. [gasps] Does this mean I'm gonna be drunk now?
Sean: No, that's not how it works. Okay, and lean back a bit. There you go. Now, you're gonna feel good for about 10 minutes, and then, after that, not so good again.
Sue: Hmm. Is all the vomit gone? If the vomit's gone, will you kiss meeee? [smooches]
Sean: Uh, I'm Sean. Are you talking about me or are you talking about Aidan?
Sue: Mm-hmm. [snores]
Sean: Sue, you can be a very frustrating person. Hope you're worth waiting for.

Sue: Uh, you know, Aidan...
Aidan: Uh-huh?
Sue: ...I've been thinking. Uh, I don't know if this is exactly all... working. I-I mean, at first, I thought maybe we were like this rom-com thing where you were the perfect guy for me because we were so alike, but now I'm thinking maybe we're just too much alike. You know?
Aidan: Well, I can't say I'm completely surprised. When you wanted to spend your 21st birthday with your mom instead of me, I kind of saw the writing on the wall.
Sue: I'm sorry.
Aidan: Well, you'll still come see our band, right?
Sue: Of course! So on and so forth and what have you.