Brick: U-k-u-l-e-l-e.
Mike: Good. How's your touchdown dance?
Brick: What?
Mike: You know, when a guy gets in the end zone, spikes the football? You gotta have a dance for when you get a word right. It'll intimidate the other kids.
Brick: How's this? [stands up and does the robot]
Mike: Look out.
Brick: You like that last part? It's a period.
Mike: Punctuation. Very nice.

[montage:]
Axl: We should be faster than this.
Sean: Dude, we can do it. We just have to get psyched.
[Sean screams as he sets off running towards the sign, which clocks his speed at 9 miles per hour]
Axl: No. It's simple. Gotta get aerodynamic.
[Axl runs at the sign in his underwear]
Darrin: Don't worry. I figured it out. Gonna catch air.
[Darrin runs and leaps into the air as he approaches the sign, landing flat on the tarmac]
Axl: This is gonna be harder than we thought.

Sue: Mom! Bieber. Tickets. 200. Jim and Bob in the morning. Indianapolis.
Frankie: Okay, Sue, calm down. Even I can't understand you. Just take a breath.
Sue: [inhales] Radio station... Selling... 200... Justin Bieber tickets.
Frankie: Oh, well, that's great. Well, let's go get some.
Sue: [screams] We just have to camp out overnight in front of the radio station.
Frankie: Oh, Sue. It's gonna be freezing out there, and I'm too old to sit on the concrete all night. I mean, I barely made it up off the couch after that 2-hour Bachelor.
Sue: Oh, please. You can add two more birthdays on to the cost of the ticket. Five years, no presents. That is a really good deal for you. Huh?
Frankie: I guess we're going to Indy.
Sue: [screams] Thank you so much! I don't care what Axl says. You are the best mom in the whole world.

Mike: I didn't know you were such a Justin Bieber fan.
Frankie: Well, I know how she feels. When I was her age, my mom took me to a Shaun Cassidy concert.
Mike: [chuckles] Shaun Cassidy?
Frankie: Okay, but his live "Da Doo Ron Ron Ron"? Chills. Anyway, my mom didn't want to go, and I begged and begged her until she said, "Yes," and do you want to know why she said, "Yes"?
Mike: If I'm being totally honest, not really.
Frankie: Because she wanted to spend time with me. Sue's at that age. She's staying late at school. She's always talking to Matt on the phone. She's starting to pull away.
Mike: So, you're gonna buy her love with concert tickets?
Frankie: Hells, yeah.

Frankie: Oh, my God, Mike.
Mike: I know.
Frankie: He's showing appropriate emotional response to the situation!
Mike: He's disappointed, angry, embarrassed... That social group is really starting to pay off. [they high-five]

Frankie: [v.o.] It was great Brick was learning to feel emotions. That's why we decided to cut him a little slack and let him work through 'em at his own speed.
Mike: Ready to go to school?
Brick: Is everyone who saw me that day dead?
[the next day, when Mike walks into Brick's room, he is standing by the bed in his dressing gown and holding a mug. He shakes his head at Mike and then sighs.]
[the next day, Mike walks into Brick's room and finds his bed empty. Brick walks up behind him.]
Brick: Had to pee. [climbs into bed]

Sue: Hey. Did you see that? I think they just cut.
Frankie: What? They can't do that.
Sue: Oh, my God. How many tickets are they gonna buy? If people start cutting, we are gonna miss our window.
Frankie: Excuse me. They cut.
Organizer: Please keep the sidewalks clear.
Frankie: Uh... Okay. Excuse me! You with the yellow scarf! You may not realize we're back here, but we've been waiting, too! Cutting is stealing! You're stealing our place in line, you're stealing our tickets, you're stealing our time! Oh, please. Don't act like you can't hear me.
[When the two women turn to face each other, they communicate in sign language]
Frankie: You know what, it's just two people. We should be fine.

Sue: What? Mom? That is, like, 20 girls. We're definitely out of the window now. I was so sure that I was meant to see Justin Bieber and have a deeply religious experience, and now my dream is lost.
Frankie: This is ridiculous. I'm not gonna let this happen. Sue? Come with me.
Sue: Wait, w-w-wait. W-what? Where are we going? We're gonna lose our place in line.
Frankie: I'll tell you what we're gonna do. We're gonna cut.
Sue: What? Mom? No. We cannot cut. That is so wrong.
Frankie: Don't think of it as cutting. Think of it as reclaiming the spot that is rightfully ours.
Sue: But...
Frankie: Sue, you gotta be cool.
Sue: Unh-unh. That's the thing the bad kid says in the drug movies when he's trying to get you to drink drugs.
Frankie: Listen, do you want this or not?
Sue: Oh, God. Why are my teen years so full of hard choices?

Axl: Yes! I did it. I did...
Sean: Uh, yeah. Technically, you said you could go faster than the speed limit.
Darrin: You're not actually illegal till you hit 16 miles per hour.
Axl: Ugh! I can't. My hammies are shot.
Sean: That's okay, Darrin. Axl wants to remain a law-abiding citizen, and we should respect that. Hey, remember that movie, Fast & Furious, where everybody obeyed the speed limit?
Darrin: Yeah, or Oceans Eleven, Twelve, and Thirteen, where nobody stole anything?
Axl: Oh, yeah? Well, remember that movie, Sean and Darrin are idiots?
Darrin: No way. There's a really a movie with both our names in it?

Frankie: Hey, Karen? Hi.
Woman: Oh, my name isn't "Karen."
Frankie: Oh. Wow, you look just like her. Do you get that a lot?
Woman: Hey, she's trying to cut. Cutter!
Frankie: Karen, come on.
All: Cutter! Cutter!
Security Guard: Excuse me! Ma'am, we've had some complaints about people cutting in line.
Frankie: Yeah, that was me. I complained. 'Cause all these people back here are the cutters. [chants] Cutters! Cutters! Cut...
Security Guard: Yeah, I'm gonna have to escort you to the back of the line. [all cheer]
Frankie: [whispers to Sue] Stay there.
Frankie: [v.o.] It's a skill that doesn't come in handy very often, but Sue's ability to go unnoticed can really pay off sometimes. One long night later, we had achieved Bieber... And complete numbness in my left butt cheek.