Mike: Man, I hate this table.
Frankie: [v.o.] Just tell him. There's never gonna be a good time.
Mike: Of course, we can't afford a new one.
Frankie: [v.o.] Damn it! That was a good time.
Frankie: Hey, you want to hear a funny story?
Mike: Oh, is it something about Axl and his baby? 'Cause I got one after you.
Frankie: Uh, not exactly, but I think you're gonna find this really, really hilarious. See, on the way to that school thing the other night, in, like, a moment of extreme, extreme weakness, I bought this eye cream.
Mike: Wow. Yeah, you are a sucker. What's that, a dropperful?
Frankie: I know. It's insane, right?
Mike: Pretty insane.

[Brick is startled when he wakes up and Sue is sitting right by his head]
Sue: How great was that last night, roomie? We must've woken up Axl's baby ten times.
[Brick has a nervous look on his face as he looks behind Sue]
Sue: What?
[Sue gasps as Brick points to a hole in the wall she shares with Axl]
Sue: Why does fun always have a price?

Frankie: It's weird, Bob. Weird. He's never been this quiet for this long without a game on.
Bob: You know, I'll be running deliveries in the truck with Mike tonight. I could suss him out for you.
Frankie: No. No sussing. I don't want you to make it worse.
Bob: Got it. My lips are sealed.

Sue: Oh, I can smell it.
Brick: You can't smell it.
Sue: It gets worse every hour. Why an egg for a snack, Brick? Were there no dead fish in the fridge?
Brick: Look, there's nothing we can do. Let's just go tell Mom and Dad.
Sue: No! I am not going down for this! [picks up hair straighteners] Yes. [pokes more holes in the wall]
Brick: What are you doing?
Sue: I am getting that stinking thing out!

Sue: Oh! The egg's gotta be here! It's gotta be in one of them!
Brick: Sue, it's over.
Sue: It can't be over. How did this whole thing go so wrong? I just wanted a roommate. I thought we were gonna have fun together.
Brick: I had fun.
Sue: Really?
Brick: Really. Just by not sitting on my head, you're a way better roommate than Axl.
Sue: Thanks, Brick. [the egg rolls out of the wall] The egg! [cheers]
Brick: We did it! We did it!
Sue: Now all we have to do is patch up these holes, and then we're home free!
Brick: We still need to find the screwdriver. [a giant patch of drywall breaks off] Oh, there it is.

Axl: Mom! Help. I took my baby apart, and now it won't fit back together. Now I'll never get a good grade on this. This is D work, at best.
Frankie: Yeah, well, maybe if you used some of that energy you spent not taking care of the baby to actually take care of the baby, you wouldn't be in this mess.
Axl: I've tried taking care of him. I just can't find the stupid screwdriver!
Frankie: Quit whining, go find one, and fix it. And by the way, it's a girl. If you'd changed the diaper even once, you would know that.