Sue: Oh, my God. Mom left. She left. What just happened here?
Axl: I don't know. Mom ate some toenails and took off. Who knows what her problem is?
Brick: Can she do that? Dad, is she allowed to do that?
Mike: Look, your mom's had an experience. She's obviously feeling something here, and she probably just needs to cool off a little.
Sue: And we're just gonna let her go? Oh, my God. Why are we just standing here? We need to go find her and bring her back. Mom's gone. She's gone. Our mother is gone!
Mike: She's not gone. She's only got 12 bucks in her purse. She can't get very far.
Axl: Actually, $10.
Sue: $8.
Brick: $6.50.
Sue: I want her back. I don't want to be a broken home.

Axl: Oh, God. Oh, man. I think she took my hat.
Mike: Axl...
Axl: No, this is really bad. I think when she was stuffing things in her bag, she got my hat in there by accident. We have to go find it. What if she puts it on her bumpy mom head and stretches it all out?

Brick: Do you think she's ever gonna come back?
Sue: I don't know, Brick.
Brick: 'cause I was thinking maybe we can get the family sausage pack now. I was worried 'cause it's only for four, but now it's an even number...

Axl: Brick, shut up about your stupid catalog and start thinking about my hat.
Sue: Shut up about your stupid hat and your stupid catalog and start thinking about Mom. Did you notice any strange behavior before this? Did mom seem unhappy?
Axl: Pfft! How should I know? She's a mom. I don't pay that much attention to her.
Sue: Well, then maybe that's the problem. Maybe we don't pay enough attention to her. Did she seem especially angry lately?
Brick: No, just her regular amount of angry.
Sue: Well, then what is it? Dad said it's up to us to figure this out. [sighs]
Brick: This is hard. I've never thought of mom as a person before.

Frankie: [to a childhood photo of herself] Oh. Look at you, little ballerina. You think you're gonna be a prima ballerina in your little outfit, don't you? But you're not. Let me give you a piece of advice. Don't even bother growing in those two front teeth, 'cause someday in your future... You're just gonna use 'em to eat toenails.
Pat: Okay! That's enough wine for you tonight. Let's get you off to bed.
Frankie: And what about you in the duck boat? You think you're so-
Pat: That's your sister. Let's leave her out of this.

Brick: This is weird. They won't deliver to Nevada. I mean, it's okay, 'cause we're not in Nevada, but... What do you think they have against Nevada?
Sue: You want to know what drove mom away? It was you. You get obsessed with something no one else in the universe cares about, and then you go on and on and on about it, and Mom probably couldn't take it anymore! So that's why she left. She left because of you! And I've only had my period for a month! I need my mom!
[Brick walks off]
Axl: Nice work, Sue.

Sue: Brick, I didn't mean it. It's not your fault Mom left.
Brick: No, you're right. I drone. And Mom's always pretending she's interested, not like Dad.
Sue: It was probably my fault. I'm the one who used her shower yesterday. That could have tipped her over the edge.
Brick: But that's only 'cause Axl was hogging up our bathroom.
Sue: You're right. And let's not forget they were Axl's toenails mom ate. Axl! It was you. It's all your fault Mom left. You're selfish and you're snarky and you only think of yourself, and Mom was probably sick of it.
Axl: Well, you're an embarrassing dork-cheese. You think Mom wants to be associated with that?
Sue: You never empty the dishwasher, no matter how many times Mom asks!
Axl: That's because you never put the dishes in it like you're supposed to, and besides, you don't do the laundry like she asks!
Sue: I don't know how to work it!

Axl: On the other hand, what if dirty clothes isn't her problem?
Sue: What do you mean?
Axl: Like, what if we did the laundry, and that's not what's bothering her?
Brick: That's true. We don't want to do extra stuff.
Sue: Yeah, or we don't clean the bathroom the way she likes? That could really set her off.
Axl: And we know she's already unstable.
Sue: It could cause her to take off again.
Brick: Look, if she really wanted us to make changes, she should have told us what they were. We're not mind readers.
Axl: Yeah. When you think about it, it's sort of her fault.
Brick: So it's decided? We do nothing?
Axl: Yep.
Sue: It's the only thing we can do.

Frankie: Are you kidding me? You honk? You won't even get out of your car to come to the door and get me?
Mike: I drove 120 miles! Now go grab your baggie and get in the car.
Frankie: You haven't been through it, Mike. You're a non-toenail-eater.
Mike: You think other people don't go through stuff like that? When I lent Axl my car for prom, the next day, I sat in his friend's vomit! I didn't even tell you about that! But did I freak out and leave my family? No. I hosed it down and got on with my life. 'Cause that's what you do, Frankie. You power through.
Frankie: I just need a minute to think.
Mike: No! No more time to think. You start to think and the whole thing unravels. Get in the car!
Frankie: See? This is my life. My husband won't even come to the door to get me. I bet Pam Staggs' husband wouldn't honk. Pam Staggs' husband would come to the door and he-
Mike: Oh, my God! Are you still talking about Pam Staggs? Who cares about Pam Staggs? You're a thousand times prettier than she is!
Frankie: I'll get my stuff.

Frankie: Sue, get out of my shower! I'm not gonna wait anymore! I got to get to work!
Sue: [o.s.] Can't! Axl's hogging up our bathroom, and I want to look good today. Carly and I are gonna try to start a flash mob in the cafeteria.