‘Last Whiff of Summer’
Season 4, Episode 1 - Aired September 26, 2012
When the summer begins, Frankie and Mike are determined to get the kids away from their phones and screens and out having fun. Meanwhile, Mike unwisely lets it slip that he has a favorite kid, Axl is forced to attend summer school, Sue tries to bond with her dad, and Brick grows a tomato.
Quote from Frankie
Mike: Look, we've been watching you three, and, uh, I gotta tell you, it's sad.
Frankie: We're sad for you.
Mike: You got no clue of what a fun summer is.
Frankie: And to that end, we are going to... a drive-in!
Axl: I get fries.
Sue: No fair. You always call fries first and then Mom makes us share.
Brick: I want my own fries!
Frankie: No, not a drive-thru, you fools. We're talking about a drive-in movie.
Quote from Frankie
Mike: Nobody stays. Everybody, put on your shoes and let's go.
Frankie: Or you could put on your PJs.
Axl, Sue & Brick: What?
Frankie: 'Cause you'll be in the car.
Brick: I don't get it. Why are we still in the car? I thought we nixed that.
Axl: What are we even talking about?
Sue: I'm really, really confused.
Frankie: Okay. Imagine a giant iPhone that you can drive up to.
Axl: I'm listening.
Quote from Axl
Axl: God, this is lame. Every year, they go through some kind of midlife crisis. Thank God their lives are more than halfway over.
Quote from Brick
Brick: Well, actually, I'm the baby, so I'm pretty sure I'm the favorite.
Axl: You're a loser who misses a tomato. I win.
Brick: Believe what you want, but in every book, every movie, the baby is always the favorite.
Axl: Not when he's an accident.
Brick: That is not true. Sue!
Sue: They called you "Oops" till you were 3.
Quote from Mike
Axl: Is that the sound? It's so crackly. Oh, my God. I can barely hear it. Turn it up. Up! Up! Up!
Mike: Okay.
Brick: I think I missed the beginning. The credits are my favorite part. Can someone rewind it?
Mike: Fun to witness the death of civilization up close, isn't it?
Quote from Mike
Sue: Do you guys have favorite kids?
Frankie: Mm. I like those Donahues.
Sue: No, of us. Mom, I really want to know this. Do you guys have favorite kids? Among us kids, do you guys have favorites?
Frankie: Honey, don't be ridiculous. Parents love all their kids infinitely. If there's infinite love, then it's not possible to love one more than the other, because infinite love is infinite.
Mike: [mouth full] Guess I'd say Axl.
Sue: [gasps] Dad!
Frankie: Mike!
Mike: What? Well, no, sure, the infinite stuff your mom said... Yeah, but, I mean, if I had to pick, it's... it's... I just have more in common with him, I guess. What? Why you staring at me? I... We have football, we hang out together, talking about sports. It's not personal. Just human nature. What?
Axl: Told you.
Quote from Sue
Sue: It's called pass the candle, and it's a really cool trust exercise. We do it at slumber parties all the time. I just shared with you that I don't really like the feel of sticky tape. Now it's your turn to share something with me. [Mike exhales and the candle goes out] Wait. Dad, did you make a wish?
Mike: Yes. Yes, I did.
Quote from Axl
Axl: Oh, my God. Summer school's even lamer than real school. Now they expect me to memorize a dumb raven poems that barely even rhyme. I mean, I could write a billion times better one than this right now. "Summer blows. Away it goes. It's totally sucky..." Something that rhymes with "sucky."
Brick: I think Poe can rest easy another day.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: This is good, guys. We got here early. We staked out a really good spot. Ooh! Yeah, baby! I love me some fireworks! Nothing says summer like fireworks.
Mike: Still in there swingin', huh, pally?
Frankie: Mm-hmm.
Mike: Gotta hand it to us. A lesser family would've given up.
Axl: Is there a lesser family?
Sue: Ugh. There's barely anyone here.
Frankie: That's because everybody with lesser parents are in their houses, glued to their screens, and we are having a nice picnic. Who's got the blue bag?
Mike, Axl, Sue and Brick: You forgot the blue bag?
Frankie: No, I absolutely did not forget the blue bag. I pulled it out of the trunk.
[shot of a dog eating out the blue bag in the parking lot]
Frankie: Relax. I probably set it next to the car. I'll just go back and get it.
Quote from Frankie
Brick: Triangle watermelon. My favorite.
Axl: See? What'd I tell you? Fruit, kids, parents, everything.
Frankie: Parents?
Axl: Hells, yeah, parents. I got favorites. Like, in terms of you two, hands down, Dad's my favorite.
Sue: Axl, we shouldn't do this. It only ends up hurting people's feelings.
Frankie: It's okay, Sue. I have pretty thick skin. I mean, of course Axl's gonna say Dad's his favorite. Dad picked him. They're in cahoots.
Mike: I'm not in cahoots with anyone.