‘Last Whiff of Summer’
Season 4, Episode 1 - Aired September 26, 2012
When the summer begins, Frankie and Mike are determined to get the kids away from their phones and screens and out having fun. Meanwhile, Mike unwisely lets it slip that he has a favorite kid, Axl is forced to attend summer school, Sue tries to bond with her dad, and Brick grows a tomato.
Quote from Mike
Sue: Movie! They're letting us watch a movie!
Mike: No. Stop. Nobody's going inside. Your mom and I are taking you to a fun summer thing, and it's only 2 bucks a car, and it's called a drive-in movie.
Sue: [gasps] Is that like the ride at Disney World where you're actually in the movie?
Brick: We're going to Disney World?!
Frankie: Nobody's going to Disney World. Nobody's in the movie. It's about giving you people some... this. They have no appreciation of "this."
Sue: I don't get it. Why would we drive somewhere to watch a movie when we can just watch a movie here? I-I just don't understand what we're doing.
Axl: Yeah, I'm with Sue-pid. Sounds like a waste of gas to me.
Sue: Totalmundo.
Mike: The car isn't moving. You're... you're... you're sitting in, like, a parking lot.
Frankie: You're not making this sound fun.
Quote from Axl
Brick: So we're not allowed to watch a movie here, but we can watch one outside? Do you guys get this? I-I don't get it.
Frankie: There's nothing to get. Your dad and I were talking...
Axl: I told you this was all her.
Frankie: It's not all me! Your dad and I had an insane idea together that we could all do something that we thought was fun when we were younger.
Axl: Oh, no. Here it comes. More tales of life on the prairie. Fine. You win. We'll play tennis.
Quote from Sue
Sue: Nobody is anybody's favorite. Parents don't have favorite kids.
Axl: Sure they do. Everybody's got a favorite everything. What's your favorite fruit?
Sue: Banana.
Axl: Favorite group?
Sue: One Direction.
Axl: Favorite movie?
Sue: Fiddler on the Roof.
Brick: You haven't seen it yet.
Sue: Yeah, but I have a really good feeling about it.
Quote from Axl
Frankie: Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.
Mike: So you're not their favorite parent. You're a solid second place.
Axl: Eh.
Frankie: Eh?
Axl: Mrs. Donahue sends Sean with extra cookies for my lunch.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: You know, Brick, I always thought you and I had a special bond.
Brick: Hmm?
Frankie: Mother and son... no stronger bond on earth.
Brick: Really? I thought you believed in infinite love.
Frankie: Well, yes, infinite love while also understanding that you might have a special connection to one person or parent more than the other. And here's the thing. I know you probably felt the pressure to say dad was your favorite 'cause that's the way the whole family seemed to be leaning, but honestly, I think it takes real character to speak out and express your own feelings, and I think that you have that kind of character.
Brick: Mom, you're better than this.
Frankie: I'm not, though, Brick. I'm really not. This is killing me. How could you pick Dad over me?
Brick: He says it's okay if my socks don't match.
Frankie: But it's not! Because people will think you're weird, and I'm only telling you that 'cause I love you more than Dad. It's 'cause he's tall. People love tall people. I've seen the studies.
Quote from Sue
Frankie: [v.o.] And it was at that moment, Sue realized... Attention didn't have to be positive, and maybe negative attention was better than no attention at all. So Sue set out to explore her dark side. Well, dark for Sue. She used Mike's razor...
Sue: Not using a coaster. Nope. Hot day, too. Whatevs.
Frankie: [v.o.] She didn't wind up the hose... And worst of all...
Sue: Going to bed without my headgear, even though the orthodontist totally recommends I wear it at night.
But I don't care. Whatevs.
Quote from Mike
Frankie: You smell that?
Mike: I'm telling you, something's dead in this car. It goes away in the winter, but it reactivates in the summer.
Frankie: No, no. The grass, Mike. Fresh-cut grass.
Mike: If it's fresh-cut, you know it's not ours.
Frankie: Doesn't it just take you back, though? That's it right there. You know, it's just that thing, that feeling of summer that you can't describe, you know, "this." [sighs] We should have an amazing summer, Mike. Let's have an amazing summer.
Mike: Yes, let's, my darling. With our travel budget of whatever's in the couch cushions, the world is our oyster.
Frankie: Ugh. It's not just about money, Mike. I mean, don't you remember summer as a kid? Going to drive-in movies, playing ghost in the graveyard till your folks called you inside?
Mike: Oh, yeah. That was a real summer.
Frankie: Yeah.
Mike: I could kill a whole day just smacking a tennis ball against the house and lying on my back, in the yard, doing this... [uses a blade of grass as a whistle]
Frankie: Love that. Still can't do that.
Mike: Ah, it's not hard, Frankie. It's all in the thumbs. You gotta use your thumbs.
Quote from Mike
Mike: Well, I don't see any kids zombied out all over my couch, so my talk must've done something.
Frankie: Well, don't get too excited. I just busted them huddled in the garage, watching the old black and white TV with the cracked screen.
Mike: Are you serious? What is wrong with them? I-I told them to go outside.
Frankie: Oh, my gosh. You told them something, and they didn't do it? Maybe those weren't our kids.
Mike: I don't get it. When I was a kid, I ate supper with one foot on the floor. I couldn't wait to get outside. And I didn't even need any toys. All I needed was a stick and a rock.
Frankie: How do you think I got 'em out of the garage?
Quote from Axl
Frankie: Hey, guys. Your dad and I were talking...
Axl: Ugh! Why?
Frankie: And we've come up with a fun summer thing for the whole family.
Axl: Adoption?
Mike: Just say the word.