Axl: Well, if you wanted to wait 16 years until the perfect moment to completely destroy my life so I can never show my face outside this house again, congratulations, Mom! Your evil plan worked!
Frankie: Axl. Okay, I'm sorry. I still don't understand. Where is it written that a mother cannot run out onto a football field if she thinks her son is injured?
Mike: It's not written anywhere, Frankie, 'cause everyone in the world agreed it was too obvious to write down.

Sue: Well, I think Axl is being a baby. Embarrassment is an important part of sports. My coach told me that.

Frankie: Dad?
Mike: What, Brick?
Brick: If we can't set the leaves free, can I at least keep them in my room? They won't take up much space. [whispers] Space.
Mike: No, Brick. You're not setting 'em free, you're not keeping 'em in your room, and you're not reading to 'em. They're not your friends, Brick. They're leaves. Dead leaves. You got it? [to Frankie] I just don't get it. When's that kid gonna grow up?
Frankie: Why are you in such a hurry for him to grow up? So he can, quick, be a teenager like Axl and have nothing to do with us? Don't wish the time away, Mike.

Frankie: Hey. Brought you an ice pack for your shoulder. Just... Keep it there for 20 minutes. But don't fall asleep with it on, 'cause... I'm sorry. Sorry. It's just... Hard to stop being a mom. Listen, I know you're growing up, and... and you want me out of your life. And I'm trying, Axl. I really am. It's just that it's gone so darn fast, you know? Like warp speed. A minute ago, you were hanging on my leg, begging me not to leave you at preschool, and now I realize, I shouldn't have. I should've just snatched you and ran. [sighs] And, you know, all I'm trying to say is... that if I embarrassed you by running out onto that football field... Which I still don't see why it's so wrong, but I'm... Then... I'm sorry. Good night.
Axl: Don't have to stop.
Frankie: What?
Axl: I-I mean, he hit me really hard, you know. It kinda hurts.
Frankie: [v.o.] I guess that's the thing about being a mom. You never really have to stop. You just have to start learning to do it in private, but that's okay. In the end, it's not about those big, public moments. It's the little moments... The ones that sneak up on you. Those are the ones you remember.

Frankie: I want homecoming! It's a huge deal. I bought a new dress and everything.
Mike: Well, technically you didn't.
Frankie: Oh, no way, Mike. No way. Let's shoot for it. Rock, paper, scissors. Come on. Rock...
Mike: I'm not gonna shoot you for it.
Frankie: Rock, paper, scissors. Ready? Rock, paper, scissors. Come... Rock, paper, scissors.

Mike: All right. Hold on. Come on. We're being silly. Homecoming is the bigger deal. We're expected to walk Axl out on the field. We have a job. That's our job. Sue has a whole season of meets we can go to. She'll be fine.
Frankie: But this is the first thing she's made since the clean plate club. And it's her first meet. I don't want to miss her first meet.
Mike: Well, then I guess we have our answer.
Frankie: No, we do not have our answer. I want to walk Axl out on the field. Oh. I want to do both. Oh, God. I feel sick.
Mike: Okay, stop beatin' yourself up. Sue! She's a big girl. She'll understand. Sue!
Sue: Yeah?
Mike: I'm sorry, but your first meet is at the same time as the big homecoming game, so...
Sue: Oh. That's okay. You don't have to come to my meet. I mean... Mom'll be there.

Frankie: Wow. Homecoming, huh? It's a pretty big deal.
Sue: I know. Huge.
Frankie: Yeah. I'm a little worried about Axl, though, you know? I mean, this is a big deal for him, and I'll be with you instead.
Sue: Oh, don't worry about Axl, Mom. He understands things are different now that I'm on cross-country. I mean, you've gone to hundreds of his events, and you've never gone to a single one of mine. Ever. And now you get to. Aah!
Frankie: That is so true! Aah!
Sue: Mom, it means a lot to me that I can finally be the one to make you proud. Are those tears of joy in your eyes?
Frankie: Tears are tears. We don't have to define them.

Announcer: Have you er seen such pageantry? And the Thundering Hens Drill Rifle-ettes are up next, as soon as we get the stalled car moved off the field. Uh, yeah, sorry... the stalled car from Ehlert Motors! So when you think of quality, think Ehlert Motors!

Bob: Yeah! Go, Thundering Hens! Whoo!
Brick: Bob, when they say "yards rushing," what does that mean?
Bob: Well, football's a really fascinating game, Brick. It's hard to explain all the particular nuances.
Brick: You don't know, do you?
Bob: I just cheer when everyone else does.

Mike: Look, Brick, I don't have time to talk to you about this now. They're calling the parents down onto the field. Hey, Bob. Keep an eye on him till I get back.
Bob: No problem, Mike. He's safe with me. I'm going for a corn dog. Save my seat.