Sue: Really? He likes Amelia? But she just moved here. They hardly know each other.
Shannon: Oh! She doesn't like him back. She's just using him to get back at Julia, 'cause she's a backstabber.
Sue: Wow, Shannon, you text really fast.
Shannon: Thanks. Don't you text?
Sue: Uh, well, this is my mom's old phone. It doesn't work. I just use it as a clock.
Shannon: It's Spencer. [girls scream]
Mike: Okay! We're all in the same car. Let's use our indoor screams.
Shannon: He's with Greg and Brandon. They're gonna meet us at the movie. [girls scream]

Frankie: [v.o.] So Mike was there to keep an eye out for trouble, but he soon realized, the real threat wasn't from the boys.
Shannon: You have gummy bear in your braces.
Sue: I do? Is it out? Now is it out?
Shannon: Maybe you should go to the bathroom and check.
Sue: Okay. Anyone want to come?
Carly: I will.
Shannon: Oh, do you have to? I'm really bad at saving seats.
Sue: Okay. Be back in a flash. [exits]
Shannon: I'm actually really good at saving seats. I just wanted to talk to you for a sec, if that's cool?
Carly: Sure.
Shannon: So you and Sue are really close, right?
Carly: Duh. She's, like, my best friend.
Shannon: That's why I need your help.
Carly: Okay.
Shannon: Here's the thing. I'm having this slumber party on Saturday night, and you're invited.
Carly: I am?
Shannon: But I really don't think we should say anything to Sue about it.
Carly: Then how will she know to come?
Shannon: She won't. This is so, so hard for me, because I would totally love to invite her, because she's so sweet, but I'm just kind of worried that if I do, she might feel uncomfortable there. There's just gonna be a lot of Wrestlerettes there, and I don't want people to make fun of her. I'm just super-sensitive about feelings.

Mike: Frankie, you weren't there. I've never seen anything like it. This girl was like a Bond villain. She says words that seem nice, but they're not. They're evil.
Frankie: Is this Shannon we're talking about?
Mike: Yeah. Shannon.
Frankie: Ugh. I was worried about her. I thought she might be bad news.
Mike: Yeah, well, you thought right, and she's moving in on Carly with this whole sleepover business. You know how Sue loves a sleepover.

Sue: Hi, Dad.
Mike: Hi, Sue. Hi, Carly. Shannon.
Sue: I'm helping Shannon and Carly study for their science test.
Mike: Oh, that's very nice of you, Sue. You're a kind and loyal friend. It's important to be loyal.
Sue: Thanks.

Carly: Thanks for helping us. Sue got an "A" in Mr. Murphy's class last year.
Shannon: Oh, my gosh. Funny story about Mr. Murphy. He said I'm probably the smartest student he's ever had.
Sue: Oh, yeah?
Mike: I'm sorry, how is that a funny story about Mr. Murphy, exactly? 'Cause it didn't really seem to be about Mr. Murphy at all, and it wasn't funny. Did I miss something? 'Cause, well, I'm all for hearing a funny story out Mr. Murphy, but that wasn't it.
Shannon: I guess what I was trying to say, without bragging, is I'm usually top of the class, but as a Wrestlerette Captain, I have been crazy busy. The teachers are saying they don't know how I do it all.
Mike: I'm just wondering... How is that not bragging? I mean, you said you weren't bragging, but you do know what bragging is, right? 'Cause maybe you should skip Wrestlerette practice and try cracking a dictionary.
Sue: Dad.
Mike: What? Just helping with the vocab. You know, in case it's ever on a test.
Sue: Come on. Let's go study in my room. [Mike stands up] Not you, Dad. [Mike eats a piece of chocolate]

Frankie: [v.o.] So when the next Saturday rolled around, Brick was back in the saddle with me...
Frankie: All right. This is our last stop. We just gotta get the car washed. [Brick groans] Don't even.

Frankie: [v.o.] And Mike was determined to make sure that even if Sue wasn't invited to Shannon's sleepover, she still had a special night.
Sue: I'm really excited for our movie night. I can't believe you wanted to watch Eclipse.
Mike: Yeah, it is kinda hard to believe.

Sue: Hey, maybe I should call Shannon and Carly and see if they want to watch the movie with us.
Mike: Well, you know, they're probably busy. Each with their own thing. And I kinda wanted to just keep this a father-daughter night.
Sue: Really? [phone rings] [answers phone] Hello? Hi, Shannon. Nothin'. Just about to watch a movie with my Dad. How about you? Yeah. I have a sleeping bag. Sure. [hangs up]
Mike: What was all that about?
Sue: Shannon wants to borrow my sleeping bag.
Mike: What?!
Sue: Her family's going on a last-minute camping trip, so her Dad's gonna come by to pick it up.
Mike: You know what? How about I take it over myself?

Mike: How you doing? Mike Heck.
Steve: Oh. Hi. Steve Kendrick. You didn't have to bring that over. I was gonna come get it.
Mike: Ah, it's okay. I was in the area. Thought I'd save you a trip.
Steve: I appreciate that. [steps forward to take the sleeping bag]
Mike: [steps back] And I'm happy to do it. Listen, Steve, I wanted to kinda talk to you, Dad to Dad. You might not know, but your daughter didn't invite my daughter Sue to the sleepover, and now she calls and asks for the sleeping bag.
Steve: Oh, man.
Mike: Yeah, I know.
Steve: Wow. Thanks for bringing it over.
Mike: Oh. Hang on. I don't think you're gettin' it. See, they're supposedly friends, and we're talking about a young girl's feelings here.
Steve: I know, but Shannon wanted to keep it small.
Mike: Sure, but what's one more, right?
Steve: Well, Shannon thinks we actually only have room for five.
Mike: Oh, then it's a square footage thing. I bet we could squeeze in one more. What's your family room, 200, 280? Should be plenty of room for six sleeping bags, especially if we stagger' em.
Steve: We have a big coffee table.
Mike: I'll help you move it.
Steve: It's iron.
Mike: I got socket wrenches in my trunk. I bet we could take that baby apart in ten seconds.

Steve: Look, Shannon is Shannon she wants what she wants. You get it?
Mike: No. You know what, actually, I don't. I don't get how you can watch your daughter do something like this to somebody and not feel the need to say anything.
Steve: Well, it's not really my job to force my daughter to do something she doesn't want to do.
Mike: Actually, that's your exact job. That is your job, and my job, to help our kids be nice, to teach 'em how to be decent.
Steve: Yeah, Shannon's not really gonna go for that.
Mike: Well, maybe should speak to Shannon, 'cause she's obviously the one running things around here.
Steve: You know what, buddy? Maybe Shannon just doesn't consider your daughter a best friend.
Mike: Oh, and she's best friends with Amelia? Amelia just moved here, and I know for a fact that she was just using her to get on Wrestlerettes. Maybe I should go in there right now and blow that wide open.
Steve: Hey, that is not true. They became friends through Julia.
Mike: Ah, the same Julia who didn't return any of her texts, because she was too busy backstabbing her. You know what? Your daughter doesn't deserve my daughter. Here. Take this stupid sleeping bag.
Steve: I don't want it.
Mike: Then you shouldn't have asked for it.
Steve: I said, I don't want it.
Mike: Take it.
Steve: You take it!
Mike: You take it!
Steve: You take it!
Shannon: Dad, we need more popcorn.
Mike: Go ahead, Steve. We both know you're gonna go.