Mike: Whoa, hang on. You never said there was gonna be boys there. Does your mom know about this?
Sue: Dad, it's just a movie.
Mike: Well, movies aren't just movies for boys. They're big, dark rooms with girls in them.
Sue: Nothing's gonna happen. Don't you trust us? [Mike is silent]
[cut to Mike sitting a few rows behind Sue and her friends in the movie theater:]
Mike: What? I hear this is a good movie. [reads a newspaper]

Frankie: Hey.
Axl: What are you doing?
Frankie: You know how all that food you eat sort of magically appears in the cupboards? Well, this is a behind-the-scenes look at that process.
Axl: [grabs cheese and milk] Coach says dairy promotes beard growth. Cheese is dairy, right?

Frankie: So... How was your afternoon with the aunts, Brick?
Brick: Delightful.
[flashback to a bored Brick staring at the TV in a smoke-filled room with Aunt Edie and Aunt Ginny as they watch a Spanish-language soap opera]
Brick: It was horrible! Why can't I stay home alone? I just turned 9! 9, Mom! I'm growing up. I've raked the leaves, and I've almost got that shoe-tying thing down.
Frankie: I'm sorry, Brick. You're not old enough. If it makes you feel any better, I didn't let Axl and Sue stay home at your age, either.
Brick: I'm smarter than them, and you know it.

Frankie: What do you expect me to do?
Mike: Well, whatever you do about this stuff. I don't know. This isn't my area.
Frankie: Mike, you don't think I feel horrible? I feel horrible, but there's nothing I can do.
Mike: Wait. You leapt into action and organized a letter-writing campaign when they stopped making those cookies you liked. Now our daughter's about to get hurt, and you're gonna do nothing?

Brick: Sue, how old were you when mom let you stay home alone?
Sue: Let's see. She left me alone twice accidentally when I was 8, and then on purpose when I was 9.
Brick: What?!
Frankie: First of all, there's no way that that's true, and if it is true, it's because girls mature faster than boys.
Brick: Axl, how old were you when mom let you stay home alone?
Frankie: You don't have to answer that! You're not on trial here.
Axl: Huh. Let's see. Uh... Well, accidentally when I was 6, and then for real when I was about 9. Hey, don't sweat it. People just mature at different rates, you know? [spills orange juice]
Brick: Well, well, well. Isn't this an interesting development? Seems I should certainly be treated with the same trust as my brother and sister, who have come before me. Don't you guys agree?
Axl: I don't think you should be allowed to stay home alone, but I do agree... It's torture being with mom.

Frankie: What am I supposed to do? If I tell him no, he'll think I don't trust him.
Mike: You don't trust him.
Frankie: Of course not. You know how distracted he gets. Oh, God. Remember last week? He forgot he was riding a bike.
[flashback of Brick crashing his bike as he tries to read a book at the same time]
Mike: Look, it's never gonna be a good time with this kid. Maybe we should just rip off the band-aid and hope for the best.
Frankie: That reminds me. He ate another band-aid this morning.
Mike: One of ours or one he found? Never mind. I don't wanna know. We got bigger fish to fry.

Axl: Dad. Pretty awesome, right? My cheek patches are finally in. All I need now is my connector area.
Mike: I'm pretty sure those aren't actual beard terms.

Frankie: Hey, errands are no fun for me, either. You don't think I'd rather spend my weekend reading magazines and doing my nails? But stuff's gotta get done, Brick.
Brick: That's fine, but let me stay home.
Frankie: I let you stay home. You practically burned down the house.
Brick: Who keeps a quilt in the oven?
Frankie: Who uses up 500 feet of tinfoil? Yeah, that's right. I found the giant ball.
Brick: I hate coming with you!
Frankie: Well, it's no picnic for me, either. Sometimes I just wanna- [foamy water sprays in through the open windows] Aah! Close the windows!
Brick: It's flooding the car!
Frankie: Give me that sheet of dinner rolls! [both scream then laugh]

Sue: I think it looks great, Axl. Totally manly.
Axl: Five it. [they high-five]
Sue: So will you give me a ride to the... [Axl leaves]
Sue: Dad, and you also are looking very manly today. [smiles]
Mike: Get in the car.
Sue: [squeals]

Frankie: Oh, come on. Is running a few errands with me really that bad?
[flashback to Frankie and Brick in a store:]
Frankie: Okay, for Sue's Prairie project, mint or teal? Mint or teal?
Brick: Which one gets us out of here faster?
Frankie: Ooh, remnants.
[flashback to Frankie and Brick in a changing room:]
Frankie: So what do ya think? Flattering or not so much?
Brick: [flatly] I love it.
[flashback to Frankie and Brick in a parking lot:]
Frankie: Okay, we're heading home.
Paula: Frankie!
Frankie: Hey, Paula! I haven't seen you since the party.
Paula: Did you hear what happened after you left? It's this long, crazy story. Have you got a minute?
Frankie: Sure.
Paula: Well, you know how we have that powder room downstairs? Well, Mrs. Barnes...