Tahani: Thank you all for participating in our focus group for Fake Eleanor. Think of this as an open forum for you to air any and all grievances that you may carry against her.
Jessica: I was flying on the second day, and when you caused the trash storm, I crashed into a rotting turkey carcass, and it exploded.
Tahani: Oh, dear.
Jessica: All this cartilage and bone got tangled up in my hair, and its skin was all over my skin. I didn't know where I ended and the turkey carcass began.
Eleanor: Well, if it makes you feel any better, your skin looks amazing.

Pilar: My cafe got destroyed by the giant frog, then I reopened it and it fell into the sinkhole.
Glenn: Just like me, I fell in too.
Tahani: Who else feels that Eleanor has ruined every moment of your existence since you arrived? [all hands go up] Excellent. I must confer with Eleanor for a tick, so please, just enjoy the lemonade and cookies.
Eleanor: It seems everyone's problem with me is me.
Tahani: Yes, it would appear that way. The last moment they were happy was at my party.
Eleanor: We have to recreate that party. We have to take them back to that night before I started affecting the neighborhood and give them a fresh start.
Tahani: Yes, of course. We must throw the perfect party, or else you'll be tortured by demons forever. This will be the fourth most important party I have ever thrown.

Michael: Janet, there you are. Some residents are complaining that you're not responding... I'm sorry, what's going on? Is that a... a wedding ring?
Janet: Yes. I'm married.
Michael: To whom?
Janet: Sorry, my protocol forbids me from telling you any private information about any resident.
Michael: Is it that person? Jianyu, the man standing right there also wearing a wedding band?
Jason: Dad... we need to talk.

Michael: I will speak to you later. Go to your void.
Janet: Okay. [disappears]
Jason: No, Janet, come back!
Janet: [appears] Hi, there.
Michael: Go.
Janet: Sure thing. [disappears]
Jason: No!
Michael: Stop doing that.
Janet: [appears] Me?
Michael: Go!
Janet: Good-bye. [disappears]
Jason: Janet, come back.
Janet: [appears] I love you.
Jason: I love you too.

Eleanor: That is Sachveer, and his problem with me is... Oh, one of the giraffes tried to hump him. [laughs] It's gonna be hard to keep a straight face tonight.

[flashback:]
Jason: Everything's gonna be fine, homie. I promise.
Pillboi: I don't know, B. What if it doesn't work?
Jason: Hey, we thought of everything except for an alibi and an escape route, but we'll figure it out as we go. You don't wanna over-think these things.
Pillboi: I'm kinda freaking out here.
Jason: Pillboi, I got you. This plan is foolproof. And when it's over, we can finally have the lives we deserve.

[flashback:]
Pillboi: [Italian accent] DiGiorno! I am a safe installer here to install-a da safe. So just a-point to where the guacamole money is, and I'll-a install-a da safe-a in da, how you say, a-place?
Susan: [dials phone] Yeah, hi, we're being robbed.
Pillboi: J, they're on to us, man.
Susan: His hat's a golf ball, and he's a got a terrible mustache.
Pillboi: We need to get married now. I do, for always and forever. I do!

Tahani: Eleanor, for an utter novice, you have thrown a lovely party.
Eleanor: Well, thanks, but it's not working. Not one more point. What the fork?
Tahani: Oh, look, Michael's here. He can help. Michael, would you do us the honor of saying a few words?
Michael: I don't know that I'm in the right frame of mind.
Eleanor: Please, they'll listen to you. Just pay me a few compliments. You know, I'm great, heart of a champion, basically your muse, you get it.
Tahani: Attention, everyone. Michael would like to say a few words.
Michael: Hello, everyone. Good to see you all here, mingling around with your various secrets. Who really knows which of you are who you say you are? No way to know unless I pull your skeletons out, right? [chuckles] Okay. Take her easy.
Tahani: Yes, well said.

Jason: Hey, um... why don't you want me to see Janet? I'm a good guy. All I want is to give Janet the life she deserves.
Michael: Janet is not built for human life, and I'm not sure you're much of a provider. Do you even remember how you died?
Jason: No, not really. It's a little fuzzy.
Michael: You and your friend Pillboi were trying to rob a restaurant.
Jason: Pillboi!
Michael: And then the cops showed up.
[flashback:]
Police Officer: So the plan was to pretend to install a safe with your friend hiding inside it. He pops out, steals the money from the restaurant, gets back in the safe, then you come in and uninstall it.
Pillboi: I refuse to discuss my fifth amendment rights until I concur with your attorney.
Police Officer: Sure. Look, we found your buddy's plans. We know he was the... brains. You were just an accomplice. If you're lucky, you might get probation. Jason going to jail?
Police Officer: No, man. Jason's dead. He suffocated in that safe. There were no air holes. Plus he did a bunch of whippits while he was in there, which couldn't have helped.
Pillboi: At least he died doing what he loved... a bunch of whippits. Now he's never gonna get the life he truly deserved.
Police Officer: Eh, I think he got roughly what he deserved.

Tahani: Where do you suppose she is?
Real Eleanor: I hope she's okay. You know, the more I work on her case, the more I think she truly belongs here.
Chidi: I'm... I'm sorry that I haven't been able to say... what you want me to say, because I-I do want to say it.
Real Eleanor: What's holding you back?
Chidi: Honestly, my biggest fear is just making sure that my motivation for saying it...
Real Eleanor: Chidi?
[Chidi walks over and check's Eleanor's counter]
Real Eleanor: Wow.
Tahani: How did she suddenly...?
Chidi: Her motivation changed. She couldn't earn enough points by apologizing to everyone here because she was only doing it to earn enough points to stay here. But she did earn enough points, which means that she's decided not to stay here, which means...
Tahani: That she's leaving.