Rose: Blanche, I need to talk to you.
Blanche: Oh, OK.
Rose: It's about a friend of mine. I think she's taking advantage of me, and I don't know how to tell her. It's as if she doesn't care about my needs just 'cause she's a lot younger than I am.
Blanche: Fine. Keep your damned earrings.
Rose: Oh, no. No, Blanche, not you. Abby.
Blanche: Oh, right. I was thrown by the "she's a lot younger than you" part.

Dorothy: Stanley, what possessed you?
Stan: I love that car. All the memories we had in that car, huh? The cruising, the drive-ins, the road trips.
Sophia: And don't forget the accident you had in that car.
Stan: What accident?
Sophia: I'll give you a hint. It cost me 10 bucks every Christmas and still calls me "Grandma."
Rose: Well, let's see. Is it something that floats?

Dorothy: Oh, I don't know. I don't know. He's just been so sweet lately, and we were at the beach in the same old car that we used to make out in, and it just got to me. It was exciting.
Blanche: Dammit, Dorothy, if you'd have sex in public more often, this kind of thing wouldn't happen.

Dorothy: To make matters worse, the sex was incredible. It felt real and familiar. It made me feel like I've been kissing strangers for the past seven years and then suddenly tonight I was with a familiar and I must say surprisingly agile old friend.
Rose: So what are you gonna do now?
Blanche: Oh, you do have a problem, Dorothy. How do you break off a relationship when the sex is great? When the sex is lousy, it's easy. Two more dates, and it's over. Well, you know, just to make sure.

Mr. Percy: Excuse me. Can I get your attention, please? I'd like to clear the air.
Sophia: Don't look at me. I haven't had a raw vegetable in six months.

Dorothy: Oh, Ma, did you eat all this candy?
Sophia: I was lookin' for the prize.
Dorothy: Prizes are in Cracker Jacks.
Sophia: Boy, you forget something new every day, don't you?

Dorothy: I mean, I really do want Stan as a friend, but just as a friend.
Sophia: Then what was that lip lock you had on him the other night?
Blanche: What's this?
Dorothy: Oh, it's nothing. I gave him a little kiss.
Sophia: Trust me, that was no little kiss. That was more like a dental checkup. Your whole head was practically in his mouth.
Dorothy: All right, Ma. All right.
Sophia: "A little kiss," she says. The man almost digested her. It was like watching a Nova special.

Sophia: Dorothy, I'm not crazy about you going out with him this way.
Dorothy: Ma, I told you, we're just going to talk. I'm going to explain to him that I am not attracted to him, this is just a friendship and I'm sorry if he thinks it's more than that.
Sophia: I wish I could believe you. Just be careful. And remember what they taught you at parochial school. Keep both your feet on the ground, no patent leather shoes and macaroni and cheese every Wednesday.
Dorothy: Thank you, Ma. [to Rose] She's lost it.

Rose: You know, Sophia, actually, you're pretty straightforward.
Sophia: It's a gift. So tomorrow at nine o'clock, I'll go to work with you. We'll take care of it.
Rose: Oh, thank you, Sophia.
Sophia: You're welcome, Pussycat.
Rose: I'm not Dorothy.
Sophia: From now on I'm calling everybody Pussycat. It's cheaper than buying new glasses.

Dorothy: Look, Ma, I admit I made a mistake with Stan tonight, but I will deal with it. I mean, this isn't gonna ruin my life. It was wrong, I know that, but now it's over.
Sophia: It better be. I won't allow it, not while you're living in my house.
Blanche: Sophia, this is my house.
Sophia: It is? Oh, right. Then let me give you two words of advice: enough wicker.