Blanche: Well, I like this nose. I think I'm gonna get it.
Dorothy: What are you getting?
Blanche: I'm picking out the kind of face I want to show the plastic surgeon tomorrow. See, I wanna get Linda Evans's eyes and Lena Horne's cheekbones and Cheryl Tiegs' nose and Carol Burnett's chin.
Dorothy: I think you can get that chin through a catalog.
Blanche: See, if you put the pieces together like this, you see what the new me's gonna look like. See, there. What do you think?
Sophia: Why is everyone looking at a picture of Gavin MacLeod?

Rose: I don't believe in plastic surgery. It's unnatural.
Sophia: This from a woman who slept with a pig until she was 11.
Dorothy: No, I think if it makes you feel better to look better, there's nothing wrong with it.
Rose: Then I guess that looking good just isn't that important to me.
Dorothy: Oh, come on. What are you talking about, Rose? You wear make-up, you have your nails done, you even color your hair.
Rose: This is my hair's natural color.
Sophia: Yeah, and John Madden is a finicky eater.

Dr. Taylor: You are proposing some very extensive surgery here. Eyes, nose, stomach...
Blanche: And breasts. I cut these out of a magazine. What do you think of those?
Dr. Taylor: Very nice. The angle's a little steep for my personal tastes. But they certainly do make a statement.
Blanche: Yes, they do, they say "big". That's exactly what I want.
Dr. Taylor: It just so happens that breasts are my specialty.
Blanche: You have that in common with a linebacker I know on the Miami Dolphins.

[The girls enter a hospital room and walk over to a patient whose entire face is wrapped in bandages like a mummy]
Dorothy: Blanche, honey. How are you?
[The patient makes indistinct murmurs]
Rose: Oh, you're probably pretty uncomfortable now, but in a few days you'll be feeling fine.
Sophia: Can we get you anything?
[The patient again makes indistinct murmurs before lifting up their bed sheet.]
Dorothy: Whoa.
Sophia: I think you've got yourself one hell of a lawsuit there, Blanche.
Rose: Was this a last-minute decision?
Dorothy: We're very sorry, sir.

Dorothy: She's not out there.
Rose: She isn't in her bedroom.
Sophia: There's no one in the kitchen now, but I think she was there. The coffee's still warm.
Dorothy: Oh, Ma, that's because we were in there drinking it less than an hour ago.
Sophia: Excuse me, Miss Marple, I'm new at this.

Blanche: Hi, girls.
Dorothy: Blanche, honey, what are you doing here? I thought the reunion wasn't over till tomorrow.
Blanche: No, it isn't. I just decided I'd come home a day early.
Rose: Is there something wrong?
Blanche: No, nothing. [eating straight out of a tray of lasagna] Whatever gave you that idea?
Dorothy: As long as nothing's bothering you. Would you like us to defrost a loin of pork so you can scoop up the sauce?

Dr. Taylor: Mrs. Devereaux, come in, please. I'm Dr. Taylor.
Blanche: Very pleased to meet you.
Dr. Taylor: I'd like to go over your form.
Blanche: Fine. Shall I just disrobe here or do you have some kind of an examining room?
Dr. Taylor: No, I meant your medical form. The one that you filled out in the waiting room.

Dorothy: Rose, you nearly scared me to death. What are you doing?
Rose: Getting a close-up of your face. But I think I'm too close, did you have a poppy-seed bagel for breakfast?

Rose: It's for my video class. My final project is A Day In The Life Of My Roommates. What do you say?
Blanche: Oh, sure, honey, that sounds like fun.
Rose: Oh, thank you, Blanche. You're a real friend. You and Sophia. I'll just shoot around Dorothy.
Dorothy: Alright, alright, Rose, I'll do it. But just don't shoot from too low. You know, Stan used to do that in our home movies and I always looked like someone from another planet.
Sophia: She looked like Fess Parker from another planet.

Dorothy: Hi, Rose.
Rose: Dorothy, you're supposed to pretend I'm not here.
Dorothy: Look, I'm sorry, Rose, but ever since you filmed me naked giving myself a pedicure, I've become slightly aware of your presence.