Dorothy: Hold it. Stop. Stop the camera. Cut.
Rose: Dorothy, the director's the only one who can say when to cut. Unless the actor is big and mad.

Blanche: Rose, I am saying that they had all had face-lifts and they looked absolutely gorgeous. It was the most disgusting spectacle I've ever witnessed in my life.
Rose: Wait a minute. Are you saying you're upset because the reunion went great and your sorority sisters looked wonderful?
Blanche: Well, of course not, Rose. That would be childish. I'm upset because I wasn't the center of attention and nobody said I was the prettiest.

Rose: Blanche, how are you feeling?
Blanche: Much better. Well, I've decided I've been acting foolish about this whole thing. I guess I still look pretty good.
Dorothy: Pretty good? You look terrific.
Blanche: I know. I also decided to be a bit more modest. But in this case that's like lying, which is worse. So, you're right. I do look terrific.

Rose: I'm dying for your opinion on my movie. It's all set up in the living room. I didn't do the soundtrack in yet, but I did get the editing done. Now, remember, this would be better with a bigger TV.
Dorothy: We know.
Rose: And it'd be better with music.
Dorothy: We understand.
Rose: And of course it'd be better-
Dorothy: It would be better with Shelley Hack, Rose. Just turn it on.

Rose: Well, Dorothy, I guess you might have a point. But plastic surgery is so drastic. I think I'd be too scared.
Dorothy: Oh, believe me, honey, there is nothing to it. It's not that bad.
Blanche: Dorothy, have you had plastic surgery? I don't believe it.
Rose: What did you have done?
Dorothy: My eyes. And I tell you, it was worth every penny.
Sophia: Please, you spent $1,500, you go out on two dates a year.
Dorothy: Honey, Ma, I didn't do it for anybody else. I did it for me. I mean, most people didn't know I'd had surgery. But I knew. And it made me feel better about myself.

Dr. Taylor: As a matter of fact, I have worked on quite a few celebrities.
Blanche: Well, tell me, what celebrities have you done?
Dr. Taylor: Well, now, I can't tell you that. That would be unethical. Let's just say that some of my handiwork is prominently featured on NBC's Thursday night line-up.

Blanche: Call me Blanche. We're talking about tightening my behind and pumping up my bosoms. I think we can be on a first-name basis.
Dr. Taylor: Alright, Blanche. But I think there's some things that you don't understand.
Blanche: There are a lot of good reasons for having this kind of work done. But there are also a lot of bad ones. Plastic surgery will only improve your general appearance. It won't make you perfect. And, as with any surgery, there are risks involved. There are absolutely no guarantees, no miracles.
Blanche: Dr. Taylor, you are not going to dissuade me from having this surgery. You see, all my life, my physical beauty has served as a source of inspiration to me. And to countless others. But now that beauty seems to be fading and I'm scared. I've never had to do without it and I don't know if I can. I don't mind growing older, just as long as I look the same. So there's no doubt about it. I don't care what the risks are. I definitely intend to have this surgery.

Dorothy: Nurse, do you know what happened to Mrs. Devereaux?
Nurse: Oh, Mrs. Devereaux cancelled her surgery. She checked herself out this morning. I'm sorry for the inconvenience, Mr. Diodoro. It's time for your medication.
Sophia: Diodoro? Funny, he didn't look Italian.

Rose: Blanche, where have you been?
Dorothy: Blanche, why didn't you call us? You had us worried sick.
Blanche: Well, I'm sorry girls, but I thought I'd get home before you all left for the hospital. And I would have too, if I hadn't seen this stunning dress in a department store window and realized instantly how it would accentuate the soft, voluptuous curves of my gorgeous body.
Dorothy: Gorgeous body? Yesterday it was a bag of russet potatoes with earrings.
Blanche: Well, I guess it depends on how you look at it. And Dr. Gordon W. Taylor obviously looked at it with desire in his eyes. Why else would he ask me out on Friday night?