Dorothy: Stan called, he's stopping by.
Blanche: What's he going to do? Bring you some more flowers?
Rose: You know what I don't understand? I don't understand why he sent you flowers at all. I mean, two days ago you hated each other. And you know what else I don't understand? I don't understand how two people who go off to a business meeting end up in bed together. And you know what else I don't understand? I don't understand why you didn't tell him this morning exactly how you felt.
Dorothy: Is that is, Rose? I mean, are you finished, or is there something else that you don't understand?
Rose: Well, actually, there is. I don't understand how a thermos keeps things both hot and cold.
Dorothy: Neither do I. But I'll tell you, if ever I sleep with Mr. Wizard, I'll find out what I can.

Sophia: Come on in, girls. See, what did I tell you?
Dorothy: Ma, what are you doing?
Sophia: I was having a meeting with my vacation club. It seems there are a lot of children who like to take vacations without their mothers.
Dorothy: Yeah, but... What are you all doing here?
Sophia: They never heard of a woman going to bed with her ex-husband. That's him, girls. I can't explain it either.

Dorothy: Hello, Stan.
Stan: Dorothy, hello. You look fantastic.
Dorothy: Please, please, Stan. No hugging, no kissing. Let's just do it and get it over with.
Stan: Sounds like the last few years of our marriage.
Dorothy: I wish it was that good.

Stan: That must be my socks and underwear coming back from the laundry. That is one of the biggest drawbacks of being without a wife. [opens door] Chrissy?
Dorothy: Chrissy!
Chrissy: I had to talk to you, Big Stan. Why didn't you return my phone calls?
Stan: I- There's nothing to talk about, Chrissy.
Dorothy: Big Stan?
Chrissy: Who's she?
Stan: Oh, sorry. This is my ex-wife, Dorothy. Dorothy, this is my soon-to-be ex-wife, Chrissy.
Chrissy: Hi. I want you back, Stick Man. I need you back. I was so wrong to think I'd be happier with Jean Paul. I realize that now. I can't spend another night without you in that big, empty, Ionely, solar-heated waterbed.
Dorothy: No need to say a word. I understand. [passes Chrissy a drink] Here you go, honey.
Stan: Dorothy, wait. Chrissy, there is nothing to discuss.
Dorothy: Oh, but Stick Man, I mean, the girl flew all the way from Maui.
Chrissy: Oh, that's all right. I'm a stewardess. I fly for free.
Dorothy: I know, but the thought should count for something.

Rose: Well, I was thinking maybe some place like Williamsburg, Virginia. Or maybe Washington, D.C.
Sophia: You're moving, Rose? Too bad. This would be touching if I liked you more.

Rose: I'm not moving, Sophia. The three of us are planning a vacation together.
Sophia: Without me?
Rose: Well, we were hoping that maybe you'd stay here and watch the house.
Sophia: Why don't you take the house? I'll stay here and watch the hole in the ground!
Dorothy: Hello, everybody. Hi, Ma.
Sophia: Brooke Shields takes her mother everywhere!

Stan: Hello, Sophia.
Sophia: So, did you bring the young chippy with you?
Dorothy: Ma, come on, you're talking about his wife. So did you bring the bimbo?

Stan: Morning. [Rose and Blanche spit up their juice] I guess you ladies didn't recognize me without my toupee.
Blanche: I guess that's it.
Stan: Do you mind if I use the phone?
Sophia: You already used my daughter, you didn't ask for my permission.

Blanche: Well, I'm not spending my vacation in New York getting mugged and groped and insulted.
Rose: I'll be happy to go anywhere they don't spit on Americans.

Stan: Blanche, Rose, don't leave on my account.
Dorothy: No, they have to. They're hitching up the house to the car and entering it in the Rose Parade.