[flashback:]
Blanche: Oh, I'm feeling younger and sexier already. Dorothy, how do I look?
Dorothy: Like something that came out of the air duct of the starship Enterprise.
Rose: What? What?

Blanche: Sophia, I still cannot believe you talked us into that.
Sophia: Please. You three looked gorgeous.
Rose: We didn't even look like ourselves.
Sophia: What's your point?

Sophia: It's too bad we're not back home. There's no place like Sicily.
Rose: Why do you say that, Sophia?
Sophia: Because in Sicily I could solve this with one phone call.
Blanche: To whom?
Sophia: Nicodemo the Ugly. Whenever you wanted to look gorgeous at a party, you hired him to be your date.
Blanche: You mean women paid him to stand next to them at parties and look disgusting?
Sophia: Please. They paid through the nose. That's also how he usually gave them their change.

[flashback:]
Dorothy: Damn!
Sophia: What's the matter, Pussycat?
Dorothy: I can't balance my checkbook. Oh, to hell with it. I'm only off by a few pennies.
Sophia: A few pennies. To you it may not be much, but back in Sicily a few pennies could make the difference between owning a gun and having to insert bullets into your victim manually.

[flashback:]
Stan: That's OK. In Realizations, I learnt that people usually hurt each other unintentionally, therefore they deserve a second chance.
Sophia: I hate you.
Stan: Nothing can bother me. Not now. I'm in a fellowship that accepts me, cares for me and loves me. They'll always be there for me, and I'd like to enroll all of you in that fellowship.
All: No.
Stan: But you've got to.
Blanche: Why?
Stan: Because if I don't meet my quota for enrolling new people in this loving, accepting, caring fellowship, they're gonna [sobbing] kick me out on the street and never speak to me again. Please. At least hear me out.

[flashback:]
Blanche: You know, Dorothy, to this day I cannot understand what you saw in that man.
Dorothy: Picture a man 20lbs lighter, long, wavy hair, rippling muscles.
Rose: I can't believe Stan looked like that.
Dorothy: He didn't. Do you think if I ever met a man who looked like that, I would've married Stan?

[flashback:]
Sophia: Maybe we shouldn't be so tough on the guy. This brochure actually looks interesting, once you get past the picture of the guy in the turban waving from the front seat of the Rolls-Royce.
Blanche: Sophia, those things are just silly.
Sophia: "The unexamined life is a life not worth living."
Rose: That's very deep.
Sophia: And if you're into this stuff, it's very reasonable. It's $17.95 for that slogan printed on a turban-shaped night-light.

[flashback:]
Dorothy: Oh, that is so typical. All those swamis are just out for a buck. I mean, they can't teach you anything that anyone with any common sense doesn't already know.
Rose: I didn't know that.
Dorothy: [pointing to Rose] A visual aid.

[flashback:]
Blanche: I think she means more like the time she told me that she went skinny-dipping with your cousin Lars before he gave up the pulpit back in St. Gustave.
Dorothy: That's a better example of a secret.
Blanche: Oh, then you have been talking about me. I'm your best friend.
Rose: She's been talking about me, Blanche.
Dorothy: I haven't been talking about either one of you.
Both: What?
Dorothy: I've been talking about both of you. I mean, how could I chose between you two? You're both my best friends.

Sophia: Oh, there's my cake.
Dorothy: Oh, Ma. Now, you cannot eat cake after that big bowl of pasta. It's not healthy.
Blanche: Sophia, you know, I just thought of something. You're worried about losing a pound. Well, have you ever thought you may not be the same height you always were?
Dorothy: You know, Ma, Blanche could be right. This could be exactly why you're losing weight. Come with me. Remember the first week you were here, we put a mark on the back wall to measure how tall we were? You said they did that at the home to show how your height was declining. Oh, Blanche is right. You are a little bit shorter.
Blanche: Then you don't have to worry about losing weight.
Rose: And you don't have to eat that cake.
Sophia: Why do I get the feeling you three are most happy about the last part?