Rose: How was your trip?
Lucy: Oh, it was wonderful. I met a gorgeous, single doctor on the plane.
Dorothy: Oh, at 30,000 feet, she picks up a doctor. Now I see the family resemblance.

Lucy: Oh, good morning!
Blanche: Lucy? For heaven's sake, where have you been, girl? I've been worried sick!
Lucy: Oh, Aunt Blanche, only you could understand what happened. I am in love!
Blanche: The doctor?
Lucy: Oh, he took me on his boat for a midnight cruise. It was incredible. I've only known him a few hours, but the evening was so perfect. I didn't get any sleep, and I have my interview this afternoon. I just have to tell you all about it later.
Rose: I don't believe it.
Blanche: Neither do I. Imagine, landing herself a doctor, and she still wants to finish college.

Sophia: I used to know a girl like that in Sicily. She slept with every Tom, Dick, and Vito in our village. Finally, the women took matters in their own hands. They dragged her to the outskirts of town, threw her on the ground, and asked her, "Why? Why would you do such a thing?"
Blanche: What did she say?
Sophia: "What else is there to do in this godforsaken village?
Dorothy: Ma, what does this have to do with Lucy?
Sophia: Not a thing. It's the only slut story I know.

Blanche: Well, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but it's just that I actually went through a very rebellious stage as a teenager. I know how difficult it can be.
Rose: Well, what did you do that was so rebellious?
Blanche: When I was 15, I dropped out of school for a month to become a magician's assistant. When I was 16, I ran off with a gas station attendant twice my age to get married in Mexico. When I was 17, I hitchhiked to New York, and for two months, I was a Rockette under an assumed name.
Dorothy: Tyler's Landing kind of pales in comparison.
Rose: I stand corrected. How did you get through all that, Blanche?
Blanche: I was lucky enough to have my big sister Charmaine chasing after me, trying to talk some sense into my fool head.

Blanche: What are we screaming at?
Rose: I'm not sure. Dorothy?
Dorothy: The mouse, the mouse! Rose, you promised that you'd get rid of it!
Rose: Oh, I'm sorry, Dorothy. I tried to reason with him, but he just didn't seem to understand why he had to leave. Oh, I thought I had him convinced, but at the last minute, he changed his mind. Which surprised me, because mice aren't usually fickle. But this mouse is an odd duck!
Dorothy: Rose, how many head wounds have you had?

Lucy: Aunt Blanche, I'm a grown woman. I can live my life any way I want to.
Blanche: Oh, I know that. I just don't think this is the way you really want to live it.
Lucy: Is it my fault men find me attractive?
Blanche: No, honey. What they find you is available, and that's no compliment.
Lucy: I find this very strange coming from you, Aunt Blanche, 'cause from the stories I've heard, you're not exactly a saint.
Blanche: No, you're right. I do enjoy the company of gentlemen. Always have. But I can promise you one thing, Lucy, when I'm with a man, it's 'cause I like him, not 'cause I want him to like me.
Lucy: Well, what's wrong with wanting to be liked? Aunt Blanche, do you remember what I looked like as a kid?
Blanche: Oh, yes, I do. You were a beautiful child.
Lucy: I was not. I was short and fat with braces and acne. And I used to think to myself, "Oh, I would give anything to be just like my Aunt Blanche, to be pretty and popular with lots of friends." And then when I turned 16, it seemed like everything changed overnight.I shot up and out, the braces came off and finally, the boys started to notice me. And it was nice to be noticed, to be liked.
Blanche: Oh, baby. Honey, you've been trying so hard to get everybody to like you that you never got around to liking yourself. And if you don't like yourself, you can't respect yourself, and if you can't respect yourself, neither can anybody else.

Ed: OK, how about this one: What was the name of the informant who Crockett and Tubbs accidentally set up in the "Cool Running" episode? There's no way!
Rose: That was Noogie, better known on the street as "the Noog Man."
Ed: Rose, you're just incredible on Miami Vice trivia. I've never met anyone so smart!
Dorothy: Ed, for a policeman, you've led a very sheltered life.

Blanche: Come on, everybody, we're going home.
Ed: But I just put popcorn in the microwave.
Lucy: Oh, listen, Ed, I'm sorry. You're a nice guy, but I have to go.
Ed: I understand, Lucy. Would you mind if I gave you a call sometime?
Lucy: Sure, I guess that'd be OK.
Ed: Not you, Lucy. I was talking to Rose.
Rose: Oh, I don't think so.
Ed: Are you sure? Tuesday night, I'm getting together with a couple of buddies. We're going through Don Johnson's trash!
Rose: No.
Dorothy: Goodnight, Ed. We're going to go home now. And I want you to know, we'll all sleep a lot better knowing you're off duty tonight.

Lucy: Dorothy, Rose, I hope I wasn't too much trouble.
Rose: Don't be silly.
Dorothy: No, we enjoyed having you.
Sophia: So did half of Miami.
Dorothy: Ma!

Lucy: In fact, I'm supposed to meet him in a half hour, if that's OK.
Blanche: But darling, you just got here.
Lucy: Aunt Blanche, you always said, "If you've got a stallion eating oats out of your hand, best close the gate before you give him the sugar."
Dorothy: You said that, Blanche?
Lucy: I won't go if you don't want me to but I do want to go, so can I?
Blanche: Would your mother let you go?
Lucy: No.
Blanche: Then go.