Rose: He won't be any trouble. I'll keep him in my room. You won't know he's here.
Blanche: OK, but we're not the only ones who live here. Dorothy has to say it's okay, too.
Rose: Oh, Thanks, Blanche.
Blanche: But if he lifts his leg in this house, I'm rubbing your nose in it.
Rose: That seems fair.

Dorothy: I've had it. I've just had it. In the past few days I have been turned down for every available part-time job in Dade County that didn't involved selling cocaine.

Rose: Now, Dorothy, don't be upset. The poor little thing was lost. He followed me home.
Dorothy: Oh, come on, Rose. You drive to the market. How did he follow you home, in a taxi?

Blanche: Well, Dorothy knows a great deal about it. She studied in Rome and she lectured in Paris and she has a very keen eye for color and light and form. She's always the first one to compliment me on my wardrobe.
Mr. Allen: Obviously Blanche thinks very highly of you.
Dorothy: Yeah, she's dropping off my résumé at the Vatican this afternoon.
Mr. Allen: Pardon me?
Dorothy: Now, that's just a little joke to ease the tension of the moment.
Mr. Allen: Right. Right. I tried to think of something funny to say this afternoon when Art walked in on us. But standing there in my shorts, nothing came to mind.
Blanche: Mr Allen. Does Dorothy get the job?
Mr. Allen: Oh, sure. I don't care.
Dorothy: Thank you, Mr. Allen. I hope I live up to your expectations.

Dorothy: Ma, it's 8 o'clock in the morning, what are you doing with the sherry?
Sophia: Don't worry. I'm not gonna drink it. I was just going to hide it from the dog.
Dorothy: Ma, come on, you expect me to believe that?
[After Dorothy sets the bottle of sherry down on the kitchen table, the dog runs up and hops on a seat right in front of it]
Dorothy: Promise me you won't drive.

Blanche: Dorothy, look who I found.
Dorothy: Ma. What are you doing here?
Sophia: I brought you your lunch. You left your lunch at home.
Dorothy: Oh, thank you. But you didn't have to come all the way down here.
Sophia: Ah, it gave me an excuse to put my teeth in.

Blanche: [answering phone] Hello. Dorothy isn't here. She was arrested on a morals charge this morning. Mmm-hmm. You just never know, do you? Have a nice day.

Dorothy: Ma, gimme a break. The Di-Gel's on the bottom shelf. [realizing it's the dog] You. Come on. That does it.
Come on, out. Come on. Out. Move it. Out. Right now. Come on, now, this isn't fair. Come on. Now, I'm not falling for those big sad eyes and floppy ears and wet nose. The last time I did, it ended in divorce. And Stan couldn't even catch a Frisbee in his teeth. Oh, listen. Honey, it's not a personal thing. Now, I don't hate you. As a matter of fact, I once had a dog. A schnauzer name Wa-Wa. Yeah, well, I know that sounds strange, but you see my daughter was only two when she named him during a walk. And I figured between that and Number One, Wa-Wa was the hands-down winner. Aw, he was the greatest dog in the world. Present company excluded. Oh, I loved that dog. He was always with me. I thought I'd never be able to get along without him. And one day he died. I cried for a week. And I decided then I would never ever go through that again. So, you see, it's not- Oh, my God. I just spilled my guts to someone who drinks out of a toilet. Listen, I'm sorry, you are out of here. One Wa-Wa in my life was enough.

Dorothy: Look, I have had it with that disgusting dog. I have tolerated him as long as I can. He has got to go.
Rose: But, Dorothy-
Dorothy: No "buts", Rose.
Rose: OK, I'll need a few more days.
Dorothy: Alright, a few more days and that is it. Get me a doggie bone.
Rose: I don't know, Dorothy. I don't think you deserve one.
Dorothy: Not for me. It's to lure that mutt out of my room.

Dorothy: Hi, Blanche.
Blanche: Eat dirt and die, trash.
Sophia: Just hold it right there, Blanche.
Dorothy: Look, you stay out of this, Ma.
Sophia: That banquet you're so mad about, they're throwing it in your honor.
Blanche: What?
Dorothy: Ma, I told you, it was a secret.
Sophia: Your secret, not mine.
Blanche: Is this true?
Dorothy: Yes, it is.
Sophia: And now you feel like the dirt you wanted my daughter to eat, I think I'll go into the kitchen and have a nice, hard candy.