Dorothy: Blanche, forget about your hair. That is Rose's husband with you.
Blanche: Who, Charlie? No, I never met Charlie.
Rose: You not only met him. You slept with him, just like you sleep with everybody.
Blanche: I most certainly do not.
Rose: Oh, come on, Blanche. You've landed on your back more than... More than...
Dorothy: The American Gladiators.

Dorothy: Ma, you didn't hear that. Now, face it, you can't hear high frequencies. Why can't you be honest about what's happening to you? Why do you insist on becoming feeble?
Sophia: Feeble? Now, you listen, Dorothy. I may not have your gift for word jumbles or your ability to float or your way of making small children weep...
Dorothy: But?
Sophia: Or your butt. Thank you. But there's one thing I do have.
Dorothy: Oh, what's that, Ma?
Sophia: Two thousand shares of Xerox, which I bought at... My health. I've got my health.

Dorothy: Listen, Ma, I made an appointment for you for 2:00 this afternoon. Either you go and get your hearing checked, or I will make life miserable for you.
Sophia: Oh, come on. You said the exact same things to me before you took me to Shady... I'll go pretty up.

Rose: Dorothy, it just doesn't make sense. Why was Charlie with that tramp if he didn't sleep with her?
Dorothy: Now, come on. Blanche might be a little loose, but she's not a tramp.
Blanche: Okay, here they are. The names of all the men I have dated since my husband died.
Dorothy: What do you know? The tramp keeps records.

Blanche: Dorothy, most of the men in these pages just fantasized about going to bed with me.
Dorothy: Oh, what do the gold stars mean?
Blanche: I had a good time.
Dorothy: What do the silver stars mean?
Blanche: I ran out of gold stars.

Blanche: Okay, let's see. You said eight years ago, spring? That starts right here. I'm gonna prove to you I am not a sexually indiscriminate person.
Dorothy: Or her name isn't "Bed."

Rose: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. It says right there you slept with a traveling salesman.
Dorothy: Ah, in fairness, it says that on her license plates.

Dorothy: You're just gonna gloat about this, aren't you? This is nothing but a big victory for you. Look, I am not gonna get a hearing aid, and that's all there is to it.
Blanche: But, Dorothy, you're the one who's been talkin' about aging with dignity.
Dorothy: Not for me. For her. I mean, look at her. The woman is hundreds of years old. She should be carbon-dated.

Blanche: Rose, you know I said I'm sorry. Can't you put yourself in my position?
Rose: Apparently I'm not limber enough.
Dorothy: That was good.

Blanche: Rose, Dorothy needs a hearing aid, but she won't get one because she's afraid she'll feel old.
Dorothy: I don't get it. When did I become my parents' age? Gosh, you know, I remember being 20 years old and--and worrying that if I didn't spend the holidays at home, I might never see them again. Everything changes so suddenly. You know what's young to me now? Forty. Suddenly, 40 is young.
Blanche: Oh, aren't you sweet.
Dorothy: [sighs] Every day it's something else. The hair gets gray. The eyes get weak.
Rose: And you shrink. It's scary. I mean, you measure your height against your arm span, and when they stop being equal, you're actually getting smaller.