Sophia: What about the present Blanche hid behind the couch?
Rose: Oh, my gift for you. I'll get it. I can't wait to see the look on your face.
Dorothy: Me too.
Rose: Here you go, sweetheart.
Blanche: Why, Rose, it's a beautiful blouse!
Rose: I hope it's all right. Dorothy said you'd like something crotchless.

Sophia: I can never get used to serving turkey for Christmas dinner, it's so un-Sicilian.
Blanche: What did you serve?
Sophia: Eels.
Blanche: Eels?
Dorothy: Yeah, it's true. Eels are a traditional part of a Sicilian Christmas.
Sophia: Of course, after Christmas, it's eel croquettes, eel hash, eel tetrazzini.

Blanche: You know, being here reminds me of my favorite Christmas back in 1951, which I spent at the USO, making a better Christmas for our boys getting ready to leave for Korea. I gave those servicemen something even Mr. Bob Hope himself could not give them.
Dorothy: A rash?
Blanche: Doughnuts, Dorothy. Big Daddy was part-owner of a doughnut shop. Did you really think this was going to be a story about sex? This is a beautiful Christmas story, Dorothy. Now, that really hurts me.
Dorothy: I'm sorry, Blanche.
Blanche: Well, anyway, after the boys had their doughnuts... Actually, at this point, it does change more into a Veterans Day story.

Dorothy: I'm proud of you, Stan. Really proud.
Blanche: That was a lovely thing you did.
Dorothy: You made me believe in Santa Claus again.
Sophia: Me, too.
Rose: Not me. I knew it was Stan all along.

Stan: After I walked outta here this afternoon, I realized that I'm more fortunate than a lot of people. Tomorrow I'm gonna get the jump on the Easter season. I have a new idea for a great novelty. It's a decorated Easter egg with a little window in it. And when you look into it, you see a beautiful Easter scene.
Blanche: Well, that's not a new idea. Those Easter eggs have been around for years and years.
Stan: Yes, but this one leaves a black circle around your eyes.
Dorothy: That practically screams Easter!

Dorothy: No, we did good.
Rose: I just wish we could do more.
Dorothy: Oh, so do I. I mean, we have a place to go home to, and so many people don't. We should keep them in our hearts and our minds - not just on Christmas, but every day of the year.
Sophia: It's more than a place to go. It's having someone there for you. We have each other. There's always someone there.

Dorothy: I guess I just have this thing about giving gifts that are more fun than the ones my grandparents used to give me. Ma, do you remember that Christmas they gave me soap in the shape of the Seven Dwarfs?
Blanche: Well, now what's wrong with that?
Dorothy: What kid wants to play with soap? Besides, after a couple of baths, they looked like seven suppositories.

Stan: Hi. It's me, Stan. I brought you a gift.
Dorothy: Oh, why, thank you, Stanley. Oh, and look, there's a little card. "Merry Christmas, Sports Illustrated subscriber."
Stan: You don't have a baseball radio, do you, Dorothy?

Dorothy: Stanley, why are you really here?
Stan: I am going to make all you women wealthy.
Dorothy: How come whenever my ship comes in, it's leaking?

Stan: I am planning on opening a research and development lab. We can come up with new and exciting novelties that will make today's plastic vomit obsolete. To make all of this happen, all I need from each of you is $1,000. What do you say?
All: No.
Stan: OK, make it 100, but no monthly report.
Dorothy: Goodbye, Stanley.
Stan: Why don't I just wait outside, give you a few minutes to think this over?
Dorothy: Fine. Fine. [closes door] If he's still here in the morning, let's give him coffee, OK?