Dorothy: Oh, John Neretti was one of the toughest guys in my high school. He smoked, he drank, he made those rude noises under his armpit. I was totally in love with him. And when he asked me to go to the senior prom, I was thrilled. Oh, when I came down the stairs all dressed, Ma cried because her little girl was all grown up. And she remarked that that night would always be the most memorable and important night that the two of us ever shared. You remember, Ma?
Sophia: Vaguely.
Dorothy: But John never showed up. I've never forgotten it. But apparently he has, or he wouldn't have had the nerve to call here.

Don: Good evening, my lord. Good evening, my lady. I am Don. I will be your fool for the entire evening. Would you like to know about our specials? We have pheasant and we have wild boar.
Dorothy: How is the pheasant?
Don: You like chicken?
Dorothy: Yes.
Don: It's chicken.
John: Why don't you bring us a couple of grogs while we think about it?
Dorothy: Diet grog if you have it.

Dorothy: Gee, it's so strange sitting here with you. I mean, you're so different.
John: Why?
Dorothy: Well, I remember you as that tough kid in a leather jacket. Fights, vandalism. You were really a juvenile delinquent. But that's all behind you. Tell me, what do you do now?
John: I manufacture spray paint.
Dorothy: At least all that training didn't go to waste.

Dorothy: Just make sure you show up this time.
John: What do you mean?
Dorothy: Well, you didn't show up at our last prom. Not that I ever think of it.
John: What are you talking about? I showed up.
Dorothy: What?
John: Yeah. Your mother sent me away.
Dorothy: She what?
John: She said I was dressed like a bum and slammed the door in my face.
Dorothy: She what?

Sophia: It's true. I did send him away that night because he was dressed like a hood. He started to mouth off to me, so I told him to leave and not to come back until he was wearing a decent jacket and a tie.
Dorothy: Why didn't you tell me?
Sophia: I thought he'd come back, and when he didn't, well, I was afraid if you knew the truth, you'd never forgive me. It's water under the bridge. What's the big deal?
Dorothy: Stanley Zbornak, Ma. That's the big deal. When John didn't show up that night, I lost all my self-esteem. And when Stan asked me out two weeks later, I said yes, because I didn't think I could do any better. That's why I went to that drive-in movie with Stan, and that's why I got pregnant. And that's why I got married.
Sophia: So what are you saying? If it wasn't for me, you would have married John Neretti?
Dorothy: I don't know. Maybe. Or maybe I would have met somebody else, somebody wonderful. But I'll never know because of you. You took away my choices. How can I ever forgive you for that?

Dorothy: Oh, John, I'm sorry I kept you waiting.
John: Dorothy.
Dorothy: You remember my lying vicious toad of a mother.

John: It was an enchanting evening.
Dorothy: "Enchanted Evening." That was the theme of that prom that we never got to.
John: Little more romantic than the theme they had tonight.
Dorothy: "Wear A Condom" is more than a prom theme. It's sort of become the school slogan.
John: It's catchy.
Dorothy: Oh, I wish Stan had gone to that high school.

John: You know, I I've got a little confession to make. One of the reasons I wanted to see you again was to, well, show you how well I turned out.
Dorothy: Well, I wanted to show you how well I turned out. I mean, I was a mess in high school.
John: We all were.
Dorothy: Yeah. Except for what was her name? Roseanne De Rasmo. Oh, she had it all together. I wonder whatever happened to her.
John: She turned into a bitter lonely lady. Came into a lot of money. At least, that's how she was after our divorce.

Dorothy: I had a wonderful time tonight.
John: So did I. I'm just sorry I messed up in high school.
Dorothy: It wasn't your fault. That was my mother's.
John: Actually, I've always wanted to thank your mother for that night.
Dorothy: Why?
John: For not letting me take you out. She took one look at my clothes and my attitude. She said it wasn't good enough for her daughter. Her little girl deserved better.
Dorothy: She actually said that?
John: Yeah. And a whole lot of Italian words. I'm not too sure if it was a curse, but I did talk like a girl for about three weeks. It was a turning point in my life. That's when I finally started growing up.
Dorothy: And all that happened because of my mother?
John: I like to think so.

Blanche: Does this mean you'll go?
Dorothy: Of course we'll go.
Rose: Sure, anything for a friend.
Sophia: What the heck. I'll go, too.
Dorothy: Yeah, like you had a choice.