Blanche: What do you think she needs?
Sophia: A chin.
Dorothy: Ma, babies don't have chins. It makes it easier to breast-feed.
Sophia: You had a chin. But then, we also showed home movies on your forehead.

Sophia: You're absolutely right, Dorothy. And I'll tell you something else. A mother sometimes needs her children even more.
Dorothy: Thank you, Ma. That's very sweet.
Sophia: Give me $20.
Dorothy: No.
Sophia: Rose, did I say a mother needs a child? I meant roommate. Give me $20.
Rose: What for?
Sophia: Seoul, Korea, 1988. The Olympics. I'd like to be there competing for the USA. Contribute now, and I'll make sure you get you a Sophia lapel pin.
Rose: OK. Good luck. We'll be watching.
Sophia: Thanks. And Dorothy, if Gladys calls, tell her I'll be able to make bingo tonight.

Emily's Father: I'm Emily's father.
Blanche: How do I know that?
Dorothy: Well, I can see the family resemblance. Neither one of them can tell time. Where the hell have you been? You dropped this child off yesterday, you don't show up until today and you didn't call. I mean, this is not a dry-cleaners.
Emily's Father: I did call. Last night. I spoke to a woman who said she'd just won the Ironman Triathlon.
Sophia: I don't remember this guy calling.
Emily's Father: How could you not remember? I told you I couldn't pick up Emily because my wife just had triplets.
Sophia: Triplets? I thought you said your wife had gimlets. I figured if she wants to drink, it's her own business.

Rose: I don't mean sitting sitting, I mean baby-sitting. Here, for the participants' children on the day of the race.
Blanche: Baby-sitting? Rose, I don't like other people's children in my house. I didn't even like my own children in my house.

Dorothy: Hi, Rose. What are you doing?
Rose: Oh, it's a variation on an old idea. Home-made Mr Potato Heads. You take a baked potato, and you give him two little raisin eyes, a carrot nose and a cucumber mouth. Do you think we should give him some broccoli hair?
Dorothy: Why not add a gold chain? We'll call it Sammy Potato Junior.

Rose: Norman, I'd like you to meet my friends. This is Dorothy.
Dorothy: Hello, Norman.
Norman: It's the bride of Frankenstein.

Blanche: Child, what are you doing?
Norman: Nothing.
Blanche: Nothing? You're ripping the pages out of that book. Now, somebody should take a hickory switch to your behind.
Dorothy: Blanche, come on, calm down. Calm down. Let me show you how a professional teacher deals with this. Norman, why are you ripping the pages out of that book?
Norman: Because my daddy's rich.
Dorothy: Norman, do you know there are boys and girls less fortunate who have never even seen a book?
Norman: Hey, everybody's got their sad stories.
Dorothy: He's all yours, Blanche.

Rose: How about a game of hide-and-seek?
Boy: Yeah.
Girl: Yeah.
Blanche: How about you, Norman?
Norman: Isn't that outfit a little young for you?

Dorothy: Let's go to that all-night market over on Maple.
Rose: Oh, good idea, Dorothy. Do you think it's open?
Dorothy: That's what all-night usually means.
Rose: Oh, of course.
Dorothy: [to Blanche, in amazement] Creamed what was left on his pants?

Rose: You know, we ought to go to that all-night market more often.
Dorothy: Why, Rose? They're so much more expensive.
Rose: Maybe so, but where else can you get beef jerky and Family Circle this time of night?