Sophia Quote #442

Quote from Sophia in And Then There Was One

Emily's Father: I'm Emily's father.
Blanche: How do I know that?
Dorothy: Well, I can see the family resemblance. Neither one of them can tell time. Where the hell have you been? You dropped this child off yesterday, you don't show up until today and you didn't call. I mean, this is not a dry-cleaners.
Emily's Father: I did call. Last night. I spoke to a woman who said she'd just won the Ironman Triathlon.
Sophia: I don't remember this guy calling.
Emily's Father: How could you not remember? I told you I couldn't pick up Emily because my wife just had triplets.
Sophia: Triplets? I thought you said your wife had gimlets. I figured if she wants to drink, it's her own business.

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 ‘And Then There Was One’ Quotes

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma, are you sure about this?
Sophia: I'm not even sure I have these pants on right.
Dorothy: Listen, I want you to go slow and pace yourself.
Sophia: That's what I used to tell your father. The only thing he did faster than eat was make love. And in both cases, before I was finished, he'd pat his stomach and say, "I've had enough."

Quote from Rose

Rose: Being abandoned is the worst. I know. I was almost abandoned.
Dorothy: Almost?
Rose: I was nine. It was the last night of the Deep-Root Vegetable Carnival, and I was having the greatest time. Eating candied turnips and guessing how many sweet potatoes were in the glass jar. Bobbing for yams. I had a knack of always coming up with the firmest, most appealing yams.
Blanche: I was once told I had the firmest, most appealing gams.
Dorothy: Blanche, try and stay with us.
Rose: Anyway, the last time I surfaced, clutching a humdinger of a yam between my teeth, my parents were gone. Frantically, I searched the carnival grounds. I was convinced I'd spend the rest of my days with the bearded lady as my foster mother, and the man who hoses down the elephants as my dad. Anyway, I was lost. And scared. But then I did what generations before me had done. I gazed up into that dark night sky and found the bright star that could guide me home.
Dorothy: The North Star.
Rose: Actually, it was the Texaco star. From a service station across the street. Our farm was just down the road from it.
Dorothy: Rose, honey, have you been washing the fruit off before you eat it?

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: Fine. But if she's gonna stay another couple of days, we'd better get more diapers and food.
Rose: I'm thawing some pork chops.
Blanche: Honey, she only has two teeth. How is she supposed to eat a pork chop?
Rose: My Uncle Lester only had one tooth, and he could eat corn on the cob. Of course, he didn't get a lot of it into his mouth. So they'd cream what fell on his pants, and he'd eat it later.