Blanche: There's got to be something else we can do.
Rose: Blanche, it'll be easy. The children are dropped off in the morning and they're picked up by four in the afternoon.
Blanche: Now, there's something here. How about sponging?
Dorothy: What's that?
Blanche: It says here, "Spongers help cool off the walkers by sponging and rubbing down their hot bodies as they pump their way through greater Miami."
Dorothy: It doesn't make much sense, does it, Blanche? I mean, get 'em all hot and then cool them down.
Blanche: Dorothy, I swear, sometimes you can read my mind.

Dorothy: Norman, what would you like to do?
Norman: Well, I like army men.
Blanche: Oh, there was a colonel here on Tuesday, but he had to go back to the base.
Dorothy: Blanche, I think he means those little guys with the helmets.
Blanche: Oh, I'm sorry, I only date officers.

Rose: Norman, would you like to play with the potato head?
Norman: Sure. What do you feel like doing?

Rose: Are the babies asleep yet?
Dorothy: No, they're pretending. They're waiting for me to leave so they can make fun of the way I change a diaper.
Rose: Oh, Dorothy, that's silly. I bet they have only nice things to say about you.
Dorothy: Rose, I wasn't serious. I know babies can't talk.
Rose: Oh, yes, they can. It's just that they're only understood by other babies. And, of course, advanced civilizations far, far away.
Dorothy: Like where, Rose? Vero Beach?

Blanche: That boy hates me.
Dorothy: No, he doesn't. But he's right about the outfit.
Blanche: Dorothy, you don't understand. I've just never felt comfortable around children. And they can sense it.
I guess it's cos I was never really a child myself. I mean, from the time I entered school, I always behaved like a mature, young lady. Why I was the only girl in the fifth grade whose boyfriend had a fake ID. I guess if you're going to relate to a child, it helps to have the mind of a child.
[Rose marches through the backyard with the children]
Rose: I'm the leader of the garbage man band.
Dorothy: Blanche, where would you get a crazy idea like that?

Dorothy: Blanche, every time I turn around, you're holding the baby.
Blanche: It's amazing. Every time I pick her up, she goes to sleep.
Dorothy: You shouldn't do that. The baby won't get used to sleeping alone.
Blanche: Well, you never get used to sleeping alone. I haven't.
Dorothy: Please. Siamese twins sleep alone more than you do.

Rose: Isn't this amazing? When the diapers get dirty, the cute little teddy bears disappear.
Dorothy: That's not amazing. Whenever my kids' diapers got dirty, my husband would disappear.

Rose: My mother always used to say, "The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana."

Blanche: You know, this reminds me of when I was a young mother. Maybe it's because you look just a tad like my children. Or maybe it's because I still look like I'm 27. My, my, how those years did fly by. It seemed like before I knew it, the children were cleaning out the attic to start their own places. And while I tried to be happy for them, I have to say I was sadder than I ever remember being. Why? Well because I realized, too late, that I'd put myself ahead of my children. Now, I've never had the chance to make up all the time I didn't spend with them. Why am I telling you this? I don't know. Maybe it's because, deep down, I wish you were really mine. So I could try it again with what I now know.

Rose: I didn't hear her, but I did hear Emily.
Dorothy: I have to say, it's a lot nicer having a baby wake you up than a garbage man.
Blanche: I never slept with one, I wouldn't know.