‘You Opened the Door’
Season 1, Episode 14 - Aired January 21, 2014
When Adam decides to go to his first school dance with Dana, he asks his mother for help but he soon regrets opening the door. On the big night, Erica tries to keep Beverly away from Adam's dance, but their mother's determination knows no bounds. Meanwhile, Murray finally gives Barry the "birds and the bees" talk, but it doesn't go to plan.
Quote from Adam
Adam: Let's do this.
Beverly: First, you, uh, put your hands on my waist.
Adam: No, thank you.
Beverly: Adam, I'm your mother.
Adam: That's the point!
Quote from Murray
Murray: So, your mom found out that I never got around - to giving you the talk.
Barry: What talk?
Murray: The "people making people" talk.
Barry: Ohh, that talk!
Murray: Exactly! So, if she asks, tell her we just had it.
Barry: But we didn't.
Murray: We don't need to. I mean, you're a grown man, and you know everything.
Quote from Erica
Adam: I slow-danced with mom!
Erica: What?
Adam: You heard me.
Erica: What do you mean? What are you saying?
Quote from Barry
Adam: I slow-danced with Mom.
Barry: You slow-danced with Mom?
Adam: This doesn't concern you!
Barry: What? The hell it doesn't! You can't go slow-dancing with Mom and not expect me to have lots of opinions on this controversial matter.
Quote from Barry
Murray: All right. Here we go. Time for the talk. All right, before we get down to the nuts and bolts.
Barry: (laughs) Nuts.
Quote from Murray
Pops: I gave him the talk three years ago when you dropped the ball. He's just messing with you.
Murray: So he wants a sex talk, huh? Well, I'm gonna give him a sex talk, but good.
Pops: Or, instead of trying to spite him, you actually have a real conversation about it, which would mean the world to him.
Murray: No, I'm gonna go with my thing.
Quote from Adam
Beverly: Hey, boopie. Look what mama bought. Now we're parachute pals.
Adam: No! That's not a thing. Take 'em off.
Beverly: I paid for the pants.
Adam: Don't wear the pants.
Beverly: I'm wearing the pants.
Adam: Don't wear the pants.
Quote from Beverly
Erica: Hey, Mom?
Adam: Oh, look, it's Erica.
Erica: Check out this box of old photos that I found in the basement. Man, such good memories. We should, like, organize these in some sort of way. Maybe in, like, a book? That would be fun.
Beverly: Holy [beep], Erica. I have been begging you to make a scrapbook with me for years!
Quote from Erica
Erica: There's 1,000 pictures in this box. There's no way she's gonna make it to that dance.
Adam: Have I mentioned that I love you?
Erica: Say it one more time, and I won't help you.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: And done!
Erica: What? How did you do this?
Beverly: Please, I've had this whole thing mapped out in my mind for years.
Erica: You pressed flowers and put my favorite music lyrics beneath each photo.
Beverly: Take some time with it.
Erica: It's like a beautiful kaleidoscope of my life.
Beverly: Yeah, touching stuff. Now, I've got to get to that dance. The jam's not gonna pump itself up.