‘You Opened the Door’
Season 1, Episode 14 - Aired January 21, 2014
When Adam decides to go to his first school dance with Dana, he asks his mother for help but he soon regrets opening the door. On the big night, Erica tries to keep Beverly away from Adam's dance, but their mother's determination knows no bounds. Meanwhile, Murray finally gives Barry the "birds and the bees" talk, but it doesn't go to plan.
Quote from Pops
Pops: Want some company?
Murray: I am a terrible father.
Pops: I'll take that as a yes.
Murray: I don't even know how to talk to my kids.
Pops: I'm aware.
Murray: I always thought that I would do everything different than my Dad did. And look at me, I'm just like him.
Pops: Murray, you're nothing like him.
Murray: What are you talking about? We both look alike. We both scream all the time. We both walk around in our underwear.
Pops: But your dad would never be out here right now, feeling like this. And that's why you're different.
Quote from Murray
Barry: Then why are you torturing me?
Murray: Because you tortured me! What kind of moron makes their dad give them the talk when they don't need the talk? Who does that?
Quote from Adam
Adam: Oh, my god! I'm fine! Just let me in and let's go!
Beverly: Well, first, tell me who that girl was.
Adam: What girl? There was no girl.
Beverly: You were talking to Dana Caldwell.
Adam: Why do you ask me a question if you already know the answer? Unlock the door!
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: Our baby has his first girlfriend. I think you know what that means. It's time for the talk.
Murray: What talk?
Beverly: You know, about the birds and the bees and what they do when they've had a couple of white wines and put on a Lionel Richie record?
Quote from Murray
Beverly: Well, do it now.
Murray: What's the rush? There's not, like, a line outside of his bedroom.
Quote from Barry
Barry: Got a problem Barry can solve?
Adam: No, you'll just make fun of me.
Barry: What? I would never do that.
Adam: Fine, I need someone to teach me how to dance.
Barry: Ha! Loser! But you came to the right guy.
Adam: But I'm not coming to you.
Barry: Let's do this.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: And feel free to jazz it up with some head movements. No one's gonna tell you you're moving your head too much.
Quote from Adam
Adam: Well, this has been great. See ya!
Beverly: Wait a minute, mister.
Adam: No. No way. Not interested.
Beverly: Sweetie, I know you better than anyone. I know this is what's stressing you out. Hand placement, where do you look, how do you keep from stepping on her feet?
Adam: Those are all valid questions, yes.