Beverly: I'm sorry, too. You were right. I always mix in, and I think I know what's best for everyone. But I mean well.
Pops: And that's the only thing that makes it okay, honey.

Beverly: It makes sense now why you never get serious with anyone. They're just not mom.
Pops: She was one of a kind.
Beverly: Yeah, she was.

Adam: Get out.
Barry: You get out.
Adam: General Hospital's on.
Barry: Lame.
Adam: Like your puppet show's any better?
Barry: He's not a puppet. He's Alf. He eats cats and says what he thinks.

Pops: Good morning!
Beverly: Wow, dad, don't you look dapper? Big date tonight?
Pops: Actually, I just finished my date from last night.
Adam: Was this the aerobics instructor?
Eric: The antiques dealer?
Pops: No. This was the manager from Coco's. I ordered the steak, she ordered the me.

Beverly: I can help you find the perfect woman. I have a gift. Tell him, Murray.
Murray: She has a gift, this one.
Beverly: Fact, 16 of my setups led to marriage, which resulted in 37 children. I did that. I created life.
Murray: She's like God.

Beverly: I think you're really gonna love being set up by your daughter.
Pops: See? Now you're saying something that's bad, but you're saying it like it's good. You're very confusing today.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Every day after school, I had a tradition with my big sis, Erica. General Hospital. It was more than a soap opera. It was an obsession.
Erica: God, I hate Luke.
Adam: Me, too.
Erica: But I'm drawn to his danger.
Adam: Who isn't?

Pops: I really wanna meet this woman.
Murray: Can you imagine? Marriage is nice, too!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] My mom was eHarmony, JDate, and Grindr all rolled into one. She could match up anyone.

Beverly: I just think maybe it's time you found someone special. Maybe someone who doesn't wear a tube top to work.