‘Why're You Hitting Yourself?’
Season 1, Episode 4 - Aired October 15, 2013
Adam and Barry form a brotherly bond when they accidentally stumble upon a scrambled adult channel. Meanwhile, Beverly mixes in to Pops' love life and attempts to set him up with his dream woman.
Quote from Pops
Beverly: I just wanted you to have someone you loved to make new memories with.
Pops: That's what you guys are for.
Quote from Barry
Erica: Trust me, Barry doesn't have the guts to punch you in the eyeball.
Barry: I do, too, have the guts. I'm, like, 90% gut.
Quote from Pops
Beverly: Do you know how much time it took me to find you an amazing woman for tonight?
Pops: Well, I found two so-so women in no time. Stop working so hard.
Quote from Murray
Beverly: Murray, you're really not helping me right now.
Will you please just give him your honest opinion about how you feel about this?
Murray: You want my honest opinion?
Well, I think he's doing great on his own.
Beverly: Get out.
Murray: Good-bye.
Quote from Barry
Barry: I've had this migraine that won't go away.
Adam: Seriously? Me, too.
Barry: Maybe squinting at the TV for hours at a time just isn't so good for our brains.
Adam: I fell down at school today.
Barry: I had a scrambled dream last night.
Quote from Adam
Barry: I know this dude who knows this other dude who went up to the roof and got every channel by jamming a pair of tweezers into the antenna thingy.
Adam: That sounds like a great idea!
Barry: So it's settled.
Next time we're home alone, you'll go up to the roof, and I'll stay down here and see if it works.
Adam: Why do I have to go?
Barry: 'Cause you have tiny little fingers that make it easy to get into places and poke at live electrical wires.
Adam: You're making a lot of sense today.
Quote from Erica
Murray: Uh, do me a favor. Watch the morons tonight.
Erica: What do I get out of it?
Murray: Your dad's gratitude.
Erica: So nothing?
Murray: Twenty bucks.
Erica: Love you, daddy.
Quote from Adam
Erica: Are you crazy? Why the hell were you on the roof?
Barry: Roof? Who was on the roof? No one fell off the roof.
Adam: I fell off nothing onto nothing.
Quote from Barry
Barry: Okay, it was Adam's idea, okay? He was the one who found the naked channel in the first place, then he got greedy and wanted more, so he went to the roof. It was all him!
Adam: Are you kidding me?!
Barry: Don't drag me down with you, perv! You got problems, man! You got serious problems!
Quote from Barry
Erica: Adam, come out. He's not gonna punch you in the face.
Barry: Nice. You lure him out, and I'll cold-cock him in the eyeball.