Adam: Hey, Pops? Got a second?
Pops: Sure thing, kiddo.
Adam: Listen, I was thinking Maybe Mom and Dad are right. Maybe it's time for you to stop driving. For real this time.
Pops: Your parents put you up to this?
Adam: No. This time, it's coming from me. I know Mom drilled car safety into my head and all, but I think, in your case, you really should listen.
Pops: Adam, I can't just stop driving. I mean, how are we gonna go on all our crazy adventures?
Adam: Easy. I'll drive us.
Pops: You?
Adam: If getting my license means I get to keep hanging out with you, then I'm all in.
Pops: You'd do that for me? Then I guess these are yours now.

Adam: I know you're bummed about giving up driving, so I thought this place would cheer you up.
Pops: You know me well, kiddo.
Beverly: Oh, hell no! We're going to the Spaghetti Warehouse across the street. Don't even look at this place.

Beverly: Stop it. My scrumptious little baby-man does not have to learn to drive until he's absolutely ready.
Adam: That's a no. Victory-dance time. Mm-mm-mm, Uh-uh-uh-uh, yeah, That's right, I'm not driving.
Barry: Hey, stop copying my driving dance!
Adam: I'm not. It's the not-driving dance.
Barry: There's no such thing!
Murray: I'm raising complete morons.
Pops: It's getting hard to argue.

Guy: Hey, either of you interested in Ultimate Frisbee?
Erica: Are you interested in picking a sport with a ball?
Other Erica: Maybe you should join a club for freshmen who hate everything.
Erica: Great. Where's that table?
Other Erica: Seriously, you're a total downer. You, like, pooh-pooh everything.
Erica: I don't, like, pooh-pooh everything. Just offer me something cool, and I'm there.

Srini: Looking for something cool, eh? Lucky for you, your RA Srini has the answer, ladies.
Erica: Karaoke and togas? Pass.
Srini: I see. Well, if you change your mind, feel free to drop by and RSVP.
Erica: Here's my RSVP. [blows raspberry, gives thumbs down]
Other Erica: Guess that's an RSVP for just one, then.
Erica: Wait, you're going? Why?
Other Erica: 'Cause it sounds fun, and, unlike you, I, like, like fun.
Erica: I, like, like fun, too!

Erica: Gah! Barry?!
Barry: Hey, I drank all your 5 Alive.
Erica: What are you doing here?
Barry: Hello?! It's my college tour! I told you like 10 times.
Erica: I knew that, silly. I just lost track of the days with all the awesome parties and whatnot. There's so many parties. Which are all totally real, because I am killing it here.

Erica: Srini! Nice toga, my man! I changed my mind about your kareoga thing.
Srini: Did you, now?
Erica: See, my brother's here, and I kinda told him that I'm the queen of college, so you can see why I now have a sudden interest in your crappy party. Just party. Not crappy.
Srini: That is the single worst RSVP ever. And it's been declined.
Erica: What? You can't decline! You're my RA. You have to include me.
Srini: Farewell.
Erica: So that's a yes?

Adam: Mom said I don't have to drive!
Murray: Well, I say you do. Get in.
Adam: No!
Murray: Get in!
Adam: No!
Murray: Get in!
Adam: No!
Murray: Get in!
Adam: No!
Murray: Get in!
Adam: No!
Murray: Get in!
Adam: No!
Murray: Get in!
Adam: No!
Murray: Get in!
Adam: No!
Murray: Get in!
Adam: No!
Murray: Get in!
Adam: No!
Murray: Get in!
Adam: No! [Car horn honking]
Murray: See, what'd I tell ya? Nothing bad's gonna happen. [a car drives by and takes the door off] Aah!
Adam: [panting] Just remember, I was good with the locket.

Erica: Okay, stop. This bag of crap will not help you.
Barry: Trust me, all you need to do is put yourself out there to show the other attractive party-minded boys and girls that you mean business.
Erica: Dude, that is not how college works.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] That is, unless you have sweet dreads and an invisible dog.
[cut to:]
Barry: [Jamaican accent] Check it out, mons and lady mons. My dog be jammin'!

Girl: Look! His dog is invisible.
Barry: His name's Butterscotch. He's part Beagle and part not real. I rescued him from a kill shelter, although I feel like he rescued me.
Girls: Aww!