‘Lame Gretzy’
Season 1, Episode 17 - Aired March 11, 2014
When Murray tries to get involved with Adam's hobbies, it doesn't work out well, so Adam sets out to improve his hockey skills. Meanwhile, Beverly drives Erica crazy when she fires her S.A.T. tutor and takes the job herself.
Quote from Murray
Murray: So, this is what you do, huh?
Adam: Making a Sci-Fi movie.
Murray: Yeah, space stuff. You ever do any westerns or gritty cop dramas?
Adam: No, not my genres. Although, technically, Star Wars was a Western, and Robocop was incredibly dark.
Murray: So just space stuff.
Quote from Murray
Adam: In a nutshell, you're Caine, a space miner who has an alien egg gestating in your belly.
Murray: I'm who with the what?
Quote from Murray
Adam: Get ready to freak out.
Murray: Why would I freak out? What are you doing? Why would you do that? Stop! What is that?! Get it out! Stop!
Adam: Stop talking. You're dead.
Murray: You ruined my one good shirt! You're dead!
Quote from Beverly
Erica: How did I do already? Okay, just know that this is a practice test and we still have a lot of work to do.
Beverly: Son of a bitch.
Erica: That bad?
Beverly: 1,280.
Erica: (Excited) What?
Beverly: You better come over here and hug your mama before I punch you in the face.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: Stanford is in California.
Erica: I know. It's so far away.
Beverly: You are not going to school 20,000 miles away from me. Us. The family.
Quote from Erica
Beverly: I'm sorry, I can't help it. Stanford's just so far away. I wouldn't be able to just pop in on the weekends, and and hang out with you and your girlfriends and try on clothes and then have you take me to the local college pubs, where you introduce me as your older sister Barbie to the cute TAs.
Erica: That's your plan?
Beverly: One of them, yeah.
Erica: Well, thank God I learned how to kick ass on this test. Thank God.
Quote from Barry
Barry: Well look who it is. Try not to score on your own goal, lame Gretzky.
Quote from Adam
Adam: Maybe you could teach me something, so then, when I look in the stands, dad's not hiding his face in shame.
Quote from Barry
Barry: What I got can't be taught. It's called natural talent. See, I'm the type of player who controls the flow of the game. You, on the other hand, are a turd on ice.
Quote from Adam
Barry: I guess you could always be a goon.
Adam: A goon? Like in "Goonies"?
Barry: A goon, an enforcer. They protect the awesome players like me using violence and dirty play. As long as they can kick butt, a goon doesn't need to shoot or score.
Adam: Teach me. I am yours to mold.
Please. Teach me how to be a goonie.
Barry: Goon!
Adam: Can we just say goonie if it helps me get there?