Adam: My costume is so uncomfortable.
Murray: It's a jersey, not a costume. Geez.

Beverly: There he is, my little ice angel. Remember our rule, the real winner is safety.

Adam: I'm Freddy Krueger! I'm gonna haunt your dreams, fool!
Murray: What's he doing?
Barry: Just ignore him. He'll wear himself out.

Adam: I call a do-over! That's a thing in sports, right?

Beverly: Okay, I don't want to make a big deal about this, but your entire life is literally riding on this one test.
Erica: You've made that very clear. Now stop hovering.

(Beverly bangs pots together)
Erica: Aah! What the hell?
Beverly: This test is all about how you handle distraction. Focus your mind. Shut out the world.
Erica: Mom! I don't think there are going to be any explosions at the test center.
Beverly: You don't know that. It could be underneath a discotheque, or next to a fireworks factory, or in a bad part of South Philly, like where your gym teacher got arrested.

Erica: You fired Wendy Woo?
Beverly: I fired Wendy Woo. She was happy, and kind, and patient. Ugh. Three terrible qualities in a tutor.

Beverly: Erica, the fate of your college career rides on this one single test, and trust me, I know how important college is. The biggest regret of my life is dropping out to have you. Oh, that sounded awful. I am just gonna keep on talking until it fixes itself. Has it fixed itself?
Erica: No.
Beverly: I think it has.

Murray: I got news for you, Albert. I'm done with hockey. That's right. Adam spoiled the whole sport for me.
Pops: It happens. Sometimes the puck deflects off you and ricochets into your own goal.
Murray: No. He aimed. He shot. He scored. He danced!
Pops: I'm so sorry.

Pops: Why don't you just let the boy quit? He hates hockey.
Murray: For now. But when I force him to play against his will, he'll eventually become great. And then his bitterness towards me will turn into love. That, my friend, is what it means to be a dad.