Pops: Hello. I didn't realize you were here. Me, I'm just sitting here, relaxing, strumming the old banjo.

Erica: Don't take this the wrong way, but toting a banjo up on stage isn't exactly what you'd call cool.
Pops: Since when is the banjo not cool?
Erica: Since the invention of the banjo.

Pops: Erica, when you were younger, you used to do everything Volleyball, gymnastics, school chorus. What happened to you?
Erica: Well, I go to high school, where people judge you.

Beverly: All right, we've gathered you here because we've got some great news. There's been some movement on the talent show.
Adam: Again? This has been an emotional roller coaster.

Barry: 'Cause mom meddled, I'm not doing that show any more!
And 'cause dad doesn't believe in me, I'm gonna prove you wrong, and I'm gonna do the show.
Murray: Wait, which one is it?
Barry: I don't know! I'm just so angry at both of you.

Barry: I'm sorry, was that Barry Goldberg, or Barry Manilow? 'Cause I can't tell the difference!

Barry: I can't go out there.
Mr. Glascott: What are you talking about? You're our closer. We gotta have a closer. Or I could just end it.

Eric: My grandfather said you might have a spot open for me.
Mr. Glascott: Well, seeing as I don't care at all, yes. [on stage] One of the Goldbergs.

Pops: Hey, kiddo, mind if I sit down?
Erica: I know what you're gonna say, and I'm not doing the talent show.
Pops: That's not why I'm here. I came to borrow this magazine. "Eight ways to catch a hunk." What is this garbage?

Pops: Come on, you have an amazing voice and you're terrific on the guitar. You got to play the guitar.
Erica: Can't. Sold it.
Pops: What?! You loved that guitar.
Erica: And now I love my leather jacket.
Pops: That is very angering.