Beverly: Hey, boopie. Whatcha doing?
Erica: Just noodling on a new song.
Beverly: Oh, yeah? What's it about?
Erica: A boy who can't see what's right in front of him.
Beverly: Well, I know a pretty cool boy you could write a song about.
Erica: Who?
Beverly: Judah Maccabee.
Erica: Does he go to Lincoln?
Beverly: No, he's been dead for 2,000 years.
Erica: Ew!
Beverly: And he's the hunky warrior who saved Hanukkah! He booted the Greeks out of the temple in Jerusalem. He's the reason for the season.

Barry: Whoa, whoa, whoa! If anyone in this family is gifted at music-ing, it's Big Tasty.

Barry: In your stupid face.
Erica: In yours! I'm gonna write the best damn Hanukkah song this world's ever seen, because you suck and you make me very mad.
Beverly: Yay! The Hanukkah spirit is alive.

Adam: Damn it! I'm going downstairs and finding a trash can for men.

Ms. Cinoman: Well, you've robbed the children of the holidays. I hope you're happy.
Beverly: In my defense, I was only trying to undermine you.

Johnny Atkins: Okay, what the hell's going on? Why are we singing terrible songs about the weather and someone's weird Uncle Doug?
Ms. Cinoman: Doug is my uncle and he lives in Ohio and he helps me pay my rent. And without naming names, we are singing about the weather because of Beverly Goldberg. Oops. I let it slip.
Johnny Atkins: Wait. This is your hot mom's fault?
[All booing]
Erica: Um, Miss Cinoman, can you not just sit there and let them boo at us?
Barry: Yeah, I'm only used to wild cheering and hearing, "Aw, yeah, Barry! You the man!"

Barry: It was the worst day ever. People booed me. Me! Thank God I'm getting a surprise award show, otherwise I'd be devastated.
Beverly: Honey, there's not gonna be a-
Barry: Don't. Just don't.

Erica: I'm sorry, Pops, but I'm not singing your song this year.
Pops: What are you talking about?
Beverly: Don't do this, Erica. Do not upset this lovely old man.
Erica: Ba-bap. I'm talking about the "Dreidel" song, Pops. It's not happening.
Pops: Okay, I'm dealing with an Adam crisis here, so is this necessary?
Beverly: The sweet man's busy. Leave him be.
Erica: Ba-da-bup! Mom made me sing that song for you ever since I was in the third grade.
Pops: Oh, I see what's going on. Your mother's lied to you for a decade. Have fun with that.

Beverly: Look, when you were a little girl, every day, you used to dress up and put on shows for me.
It was everything.
Erica: I remember that.
Beverly: Well, those days are gone. Now it's a "no" anytime I ask anything of you. So, I tricked you. I just love hearing my little girl sing.
Erica: I actually understand your point.
Beverly: Good. 'Cause I'm done trying to trick you. If you don't want to sing, you don't have to.
Erica: I know I don't have to, but now that you finally asked, I kind of want to.

Beverly: That's my baby. That's my baby. I had to lie to make this happen, but it was totally worth it.