Murray: And that's how you keep your daughter a lonely shut-in for another glorious evening.
Pops: Or you sent a desperate high-school boy to Erica's college to commit to her forever.
Murray: Come on. He knew what I meant.
Pops: He had no idea what I meant.
Murray: That boy's got to be stopped.

Adam: But he's right, Mom. I got to stop hiding behind you. I have to unleash the beast inside of me.
Beverly: No, Schmoo. You know you can't eat dairy.
Adam: Not that beast! I'm talking about Barry. It's time he stops looking at me like I'm some lazy-eyed nerd.

Erica: Geoff?!
Geoff: Erica.
Erica: I can't believe you're here.
Geoff: I know. I had to see you. And why is your dad here?
Murray: Schwartz.
Erica: Ugh. I know. Some last-minute furniture-convention thing?
Murray: Yeah. I said that. You're going to the Ramada with me.

Murray: Nobody is BORFing anyone.
Geoff: Your dad's right. It wouldn't be appropriate for me to stay. Unless... Oh, boy. We were married?
Erica: Is that a ring?
Geoff: I sold my CD collection.
Erica: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's happening, dude?
Other Erica: It appears your boyfriend is proposing with a tiny, little diamond flake. It's a definitely "No" in my opinion.
Erica: Do you two mind?!

Geoff: Come on, Erica. What do you say? Let's throw away our futures and keep this love train chuggin' on down to marriage town.

Erica: And you! What the hell has gotten into you?
Geoff: Mostly your dad. So, is this happening, or?
Erica: Absolutely not!
Geoff: Oh, thank God. I'm sorry, Mr. Goldberg. She said "No," and I'm super pumped about that.
Erica: Wait. Did you put him up to this?
Murray: Well, not exactly like that. Although I could get used to the idea of a long-distance marriage.

Erica: Is that why you don't care about the phone bills? Are you trying to keep me from having fun at college?
Geoff: Hey, can I stand up now?
Erica: Who tries to ruin college for their daughter? Who does that?
Murray: Hey, he's the one who screwed it up by proposing. I just wanted him to keep you from having a life.

Geoff: Don't be mad. I was just trying to do what everyone tells me to, like a good boy.
Murray: I didn't want to make you unhappy. I just wanted you to be lonely.
Geoff: Okay, his thing is much worse than mine. I love- [Door slams]

Coach Nick: Look, I had a hard time as a kid. I was huge and shy and had a goatee, so everybody thought I was a narc.
Coach Mellor: I remember.
Coach Nick: I felt bad about myself, and I took it out on you. And I'm sorry.
Coach Mellor: Don't be. I think you're right, I'm jealous. You're a real coach and I'm here.
Coach Nick: Hey, you turn these little punks into men. If that ain't great coaching, I don't know what is.

Erica: You're okay leaving us alone?
Murray: Yeah, I trust you.
Erica: No, you don't.
Murray: Look, it used to be my job to keep you safe. But I guess I just have to realize that's not my job anymore. I can't believe my little peanut is all grown up.