Vivian: Philip, I'm sure Will just hasn't gotten around to returning the check yet.
Philip: Vivian, when I tell Will to do something I expect for it to be done.
Will: Hey, Aunt Viv! Uncle... Phil. Whoa, you got that mad look in your eyes. Let me guess. You grabbed Geoffrey's underwear by mistake, am I right?

Geoffrey: Something wrong, Miss Ashley?
Ashley: No. Everything's fine. [sighs]
Geoffrey: Spill it.
Ashley: Be honest. We're playing with cookies because you think I'm a kid, right?
Geoffrey: Well, yes.
Ashley: I'm 13! If these were the Middle Ages, I'd already be married and own a pair of oxen. I'm an adult. A young adult.
Geoffrey: I'll get my wallet.
Ashley: I'll get my Smurf bank.

Vivian: Will, this is a fundraiser for the L.A. Political Coalition. Everything cannot always be about fun.
Will: Hold up! What? Y'all gonna make me go?
Philip: Well, at least show up. If you're still unhappy after the first half hour, consider the rest of the evening punishment for something you've gotten away with.
Will: I'd rather be stranded at sea with David Duke leading the rescue party.