Will: Nick, have I ever kept you from achieving your dreams?
Nicky: Not many.
Will: I mean, you wouldn't call me narrow-minded, would you?
Nicky: You just don't get it, do you? I'm 5, you dork.

Ashley: Will, which one do you think your friend Frank will like best? This one? Or this one? God, I wanna get into the New York School of Performing Arts so bad.
Will: Well, Ash, I don't think they pick their students by what they're wearing.
Ashley: Do you think he'll recommend me?
Will: Not if you keep spinning around like that, girl.

Carlton: Hey, everybody, look. Wednesday Bingo is running out of post position five.
Will: [giddy] Not post position five!
Carlton: That's his favorite position. It's the same position he had when he won his first race. Oh, I still remember him standing in that winner's circle looking up to me as if to say: "Tsk, tsk. This one's for you, little man."
Will: You sure his tail wasn't up in the air at the time?

Philip: New York. Isn't that a bit of a drive every morning? [chuckles]
Ashley: How cute, Daddy. I'd have to live there, of course.
Philip: Oh, of course you would, muffin. Of course, it's always been my dream to send my underage daughter off to New York unsupervised. Isn't that every parent's dream?
Ashley: Daddy, you'll warm to the idea.
Philip: Sweetheart, just remember that the road to New York goes through me.
Will: What, that be like a six-lane highway?

Carlton: I can feel it. He's about to make his move.
Will: He ain't even leave the gate yet, man.
Carlton: Well, he's just psyching out the other horses.
Announcer: [v.o.] At the wire, it's Rest Darling by a nose. Lilac Lady, second and Daddy's Best, third. Wednesday Bingo is... taking a nap.
Carlton: You just wait till he wakes up.

Carlton: Will, cheer him up. Sing him a song.
Will: Man, I ain't singing him no song.
Carlton: [sings] The sun'll come out Tomorrow [Hilary and Ashley join in] Bet your bottom dollar That tomorrow There'll be sun
Vet: I'm afraid the sun won't be coming out tomorrow for that old boy.
Carlton: What do you mean?
Vet: Too many years. Too many races. The owner wants me to put him down.
Carlton: When?
Vet: Tomorrow.
Will: [sings] It's only a day away...

Carlton: Oh. And this was when he was just a yearling. Oh, and look, this is when he won his first race. Look, Will.
Will: Carlton, I ain't trying to be looking at that horse all day, man. Now, look, just watch some TV and take your mind off of it, all right?
Man: [on TV] Hello. I'm Mister Ed.
Carlton: [wails] You bastard!

Ashley: Wow, Carlton seems pretty upset. I think what he needs is a refreshing pick-me-up beverage that's not too sweet and not too heavy.
Will: What?
Ashley: You know my motto. If you're a woman on the go like me, things can get rough. And when they do, don't sweat, drink Jet. Jet cola that is.
Will: Oh, my God. You been sipping that gin and juice.
Vivian: Hi, guys.
Will: Oh, Ashley, look. Now eat these mints and whatever you do, don't talk. Here.
Ashley: I don't need a mint.

Will: This don't seem that hard. You know my motto. If you're a woman on the go like me, things can get rough. And when they do, don't sweat, y'all. Drink Jet. Jet cola that is.
Geoffrey: Well, then, be a woman on the go. Leave so I can vacuum.

Will: Hey, Frank. I got to tell you, man, it's guys like you make life worth living. Bringing all these beautiful women to us during all our favorite programs. Mm. Man, you ought to have a billboard with your face on it. You ought to be... [sees Ashley] ashamed of yourself!
Ashley: Will. Will.
Will: That's a wrap!