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Eye, Tooth

‘Eye, Tooth’

Season 6, Episode 22 -  Aired May 13, 1996

When Hilary announces that her show is moving to New York, Ashley is excited that she will now be allowed to move to the city. Will is upset that he will be losing his job, but while he's still working he has to look after William Shatner, who is a guest on Hilary's show.

Quote from Carlton

Hilary: You are never going to believe what's happened.
Carlton: Oh, yeah. Billy Butterworth's gonna be on your show. Big deal.
Hilary: What are you talking about? William Shatner's on the show.
Carlton: Actor, director, novelist, bon vivant William Shatner? [to Will] And you knew? You slept in the same pool house with me knowing this, knowing what it would mean to me, and you didn't say a word? I don't even know who you are.


Quote from Geoffrey

Philip: You can jump in here any time, Vivian.
Geoffrey: Perhaps that iron fist that you rule with has gotten a bit rusty, sir.
Philip: Perhaps I should hit something.
Geoffrey: Be careful of misguided anger, sir.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: I'm gonna go down and have Shatner sign my copy of his new book, Man o' War. What to wear? What to wear? What to wear?

Quote from Carlton

Dick: Bill, Bill, Bill, I'm Dick West. I'm with the network. I noticed you drove in today. Thought beaming down would be too flashy, huh?
William Shatner: Good one, Dick.
Dick: Thanks, guy. Hey, I'll catch you later, huh?
William Shatner: Oh, yeah. What is it about these suits that they feel they have to make some lame Star Trek joke when they start off? I don't unders-
Carlton: William Shatner! I saw your car out in the parking lot. I guess you thought beaming down would be too flashy, huh? Get it, huh?
William Shatner: That's a good one, Dick.
Will: Well, actually, his name is Carlton.
William Shatner: Who cares?
Carlton: Boy, the Twilight Zones. The Star Trek episodes. The movies. The TekWar books. T.J. Hooker. Huh. How about that Heather Locklear? Hubba, hubba.
Will: Listen, now, you don't have to shoot anything for the next three hours. Anything you wanna do?
William Shatner: Yeah, get away from this guy.

Quote from Carlton

Will: Hey, y'all. Come check this out. Look at all this stuff I found up in the attic.
Philip: What? Wh- Why, that's my old trumpet. I haven't seen that thing in ages. [laughs]
Will: Oh, man, I didn't know you played the trumpet.
Philip: Well, when I was in college a little bit, you know. The girls all like a musician, you know? [blows trumpet]
Vivian: I met him after Princeton.
Ashley: Wow, look at all this stuff. My old coloring books. My diary. Wait a minute, I didn't have Barbie. Who had a Barbie?
Hilary: Well, it's not mine. My Barbie's at home fast asleep in her Barbie Dream House.
Carlton: Um... It doesn't matter whose it is. Let me see this trumpet.

Quote from Ashley

Will: So just like that, you're moving to New York and I'm out of a job.
Hilary: Okay.
Ashley: What about New York?
Will: They're moving Hilary's show to New York.
Ashley: Oh, my God, that's wonderful. This is the best news I've ever heard. It's unbelievable.
Hilary: Ashley, you've never been this happy for me.
Ashley: I still haven't been. This is about me. I can still move to New York.

Quote from Nicky

Ashley: Ooh. And I got these great fleece-lined boots.
Vivian: Oh, these are beautiful.
Nicky: Ashley, is New York as far away as Disneyland?
Philip: Nicky. Nicky. Sweetheart, she's not going to New York.
Nicky: I know. Can I come visit you?
Ashley: Yes.

Quote from Carlton

William Shatner: My tooth. You broke my damn tooth.
Will: Oh. I'm sorry. We can get you right to the dentist.
William Shatner: Stand back. Stand back.
Will: All right.
Carlton: Don't worry, Jim. We'll get you there warp speed.
William Shatner: Get a life.

Quote from Will

William Shatner: Spock, is that you? Your ears are the same but something's different. Uhura. Hey, open up the hailing frequency.
Carlton: [Scottish accent] Captain, the dilithium crystals are almost gone. The matter/antimatter reactors are failing.
William Shatner: Scotty, you're... black. The bridge, it's changed. Spasers on spun. Oh, my tooth. Bones, fix it.
Will: Damn it, Jim. I'm a black boy from Philly, not a doctor.

Quote from Will

Will: Yo, Billy. Where you at, boy?
William Shatner: Here I go, dog. Here you go, brother. Throw your hands in the air If you's a true player
Carlton: This guy kills me. He's killing me.
Werner: What did you do to him?
Will: Nothing. Hey, Werner, I just wanna say... I love you, man.
William Shatner: Sulu, where you been? And why are you out of uniform? I never liked that guy.
Werner: Mr. Shatner, look, I don't know what it is that this man has done to you. But whatever it is, I apologize and I hope we can just work it out without any legal action.
Will: What you talking about? This guy loves us, right, Bill?
William Shatner: Absolutely. I'll see you in court. [Will laughs]

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