Will: Hold up, baby. I want to go get my lucky mitt. I want Darryl Strawberry to sign it.
Kathleen: What's your lucky mitt?
Will: It's sort of like my lucky drawers, except I wear it on my hand.

Will: Man, this door is like straight out of Blacula.
Kathleen: It's like the '70s crawled up in here and died.
Will: Yeah, J.J. Walker's lips are probably around here somewhere. This is all my stuff I brought from Philly, you know. When I get homesick I come down here. It makes me feel better. Where's my mitt at? Here it is. My mom gave me this. She taught me how to play. That's why I took up basketball. Oh, hold on. Yo, Teddy jam. Man, I used to love this old thing.
Kathleen: He's so cute!
Will: But I'm cuter. Beat it, Ted.

Will: All right, all right. How can I resist those big green eyes? Wait, baby, what happened to your big green eyes? I put them in my little black purse.
Will: Oh! You wear contacts!
Kathleen: Is that okay?
Will: Pfft. Yeah. I mean. Look, I love you for what's on the inside.
Kathleen: And I love you because you're so wonderful.
[As they kiss, Will moves his hands to the back of Kathleen's head]
Will: [screams]
Kathleen: Will, be careful! That's real hair!
Will: Then why isn't it growing out your scalp?
Kathleen: I just wanted to look extra special for you tonight.
Will: You do, baby. You always do. I mean, look, not that it matters. I mean, well, it does, but... Hey, look, I'm sorry I threw your hair.

Philip: Look what I found in the old man's office.
Vivian: Philip, you ought to be ashamed of yourself going through your partner's things. What brand is it?
Philip: You know, this is the first time we have been alone together in weeks.
Vivian: Try months.
Philip: And you look ravishing by candlelight.
Vivian: I know!
Philip: Yeah, and you smell as appetizing as you look.
Vivian: Philip, are you trying to put the moves on me?
Philip: Yes. Is it working?
Vivian: Yes.
Philip: Ooh. Want a belly rub?

Kathleen: I'm hungry. Don't you have any more breath mints?
Will: No, you ate them all without offering me one. Can't have my toothpick, either.
Kathleen: Did I ask you?
Will: Look, baby, why don't you just look in the freezer and see if there's something in there?
Kathleen: Would you look?
Will: Why don't you look?
Kathleen: I thought you liked doing things for me.
Will: Yes, I did, until you ate all my breath mints.

Kathleen: You are so rude!
Will: Me? I've been bending over backwards trying to make you happy. You the one that started tripping, ate all my breath mints.
Kathleen: You mention those breath mints one more time, I'm gonna scream!
Will: Breath mints. Breath mints. Breath mints, breath mints, breath mints!