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‘Clubba Hubba’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Clubba Hubba

103. Clubba Hubba

Aired September 24, 1990

When Will sets his sights on Mimi (Victoria Rowell), a woman he saw at the country club, he must first impress her father, Dr. Mumford (Richard Roundtree). Carlton, Uncle Phil and Geoffrey try to teach Will how to be a gentleman.

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: Congratulate me. It took all day but I finally found the perfect pair of alligator pumps to wear to the Save the Everglades rally tonight.

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Quote from Geoffrey

Geoffrey: Allow me, sir.
Philip: Certainly, Geoffrey, if you think you can do any better.
Geoffrey: Mademoiselle. [kneels down] My life was but a mere whisper until you entered into it. Whether it was chance or blind fate or kismet, if you will, that brought us together, I would be remiss to let this moment pass without telling you how deeply you have affected the very core of my being.
Will: Ooh, baby!

Quote from Carlton

Will: Now, remember, I'm wanted in five states I'm hiding out from the police for robbing a gun store... And what did I do before then?
Carlton: You went to Penn State.
Will: I went to the state pen.
Carlton: Sorry. I thought Penn State was bad enough.

Quote from Hilary

Geoffrey: Ah, Miss Hilary. Did you have a good time at the Save the Everglades fund raiser?
Hilary: Geoffrey, these events are not about having a good time. They're consciousness-raising experiences. When you hear about all of the species that are on the brink of extinction, it's grim, grave, and very sobering.
Toni: Tom Cruise was near tears.
Hilary: Oh, wasn't he gorgeous?

Quote from Will

Mimi: Look, before you get yourself all worked up into a lather, I just would like to say this. I am sick of you white-washed, preppy stuffed shirts.
Will: What?
Dr. Mumford: Look, I don't need some stooge who's going to play up to my father. I want a real man. Someone dangerous. Someone exciting. Someone from the streets. [Will laughs] What's so funny?
Will: Yo, baby. Yo, baby. Yo, baby. Yo, baby. Yo, your prince is in effect, baby. I'm not down with this preppy nonsense. Carlton told me to do this. Yo, baby, I'm definitely straight out the 'hood.
Mimi: That was the worst homeboy act I've ever heard.
Will: This is not an act. This is the real deal.

Quote from Will

Will: So, what kind of guy does Dr. No say yes to?
Carlton: Fellas with good grades, good manners, good looks. In a word, me.
Will: So why haven't you made your move on Miss Mimi?
Carlton: Not my type. Doesn't tickle my fancy.
Will: Yeah, well, she can tickle mine.
Carlton: If only wishing made it so. Let's face it, Will. You lack the social graces to impress someone like Dr. No.
Will: Boy, you must be on dog food. I am the most handsome, the most intelligent and unequivocally the most flamboyant bachelor since Billy Dee.

Quote from Will

Carlton: This isn't West Philly, Will. It's Bel-Air. And the women here are different. I guarantee you Dr. No will say no.
Will: Yeah? I bet he won't.
Carlton: I bet he will.
Will: I bet he won't.
Carlton: I'll bet he will.
Will: [to camera] Who says the art of conversation is dead?

Quote from Philip

Carlton: Observe, Will, this is how a perfect gentleman talks to a young lady. "Say there, Mimi, might I say that you rate a perfect 10 on my niftiness meter?"
Will: I don't think so. So, Uncle Phil, how did you used to crack on the girlies?
Philip: [laughs] What I'm about to tell you is going to change your life forever. Are you listening?
Will: Yeah.
Philip: First, I take her hand then I stroke it gently but imperceptibly, look deep into her eyes, blow gently in her ear, let my mouth curl up into a smile, make a low, rumbling, hypnotic sound. [rumbles]
Vivian: Ooh, Philip, that's what you did on our first date.
Philip: That's right.
Vivian: You're lucky you got a second one.

Quote from Geoffrey

Will: The fish knife.
Carlton: [sleepy] Yeah, right. [waking up] No, it is right. He got it right. He got it right!
Philip: He did?
Geoffrey: [waking up] Get your own geisha. Excuse me, Master Carlton.
Carlton: Will, he picked out the fish knife.
Philip: Will, I want you to pay very close attention. Which one is the shrimp fork?
[Will places down the fish knife and picks up a fork]
Geoffrey: By George, I think he's got it.

Quote from Will

Carlton: Okay, just remember you're from Connecticut, you're transferred to Bel-Air Academy, and you row on the crew team. Now, where did you transfer from?
Will: Bend over.
Carlton: It's Andover. We're going back home.
Will: I was joking, man. Relax.

Quote from Will

Dr. Mumford: So, Smithers, what school do you go to? What college have you applied to? And what's your career plans?
Will: Bel-Air Academy, Princeton, and thoracic surgery, sir.
Dr. Mumford: Thoracic surgery. That's my field. What aspect of it interests you the most?
Will: Um... The cutting part.
Dr. Mumford: Ah, that's the part I like, too. Listen, I'm glad you're a fan of polo. You know, I have a very fine string of Arabians.
Will: Oh, really? With turbans and everything?
Dr. Mumford: [chuckles] Very funny, Smithers. You had me there for a moment. I thought you were a blithering idiot.
Will: [nervous laugh]
Dr. Mumford: Ah, there's my daughter. Would you like to meet her?
Will: Oh, gosh, sir. There's a big question mark on that one. I seem to be painfully shy with the fairer sex.

Quote from Hilary

Ashley: Will has a crush on Mimi Mumford.
Hilary: That fat girl?
Will: Mimi is not fat.
Hilary: Not today. Liposuction. She's been vacuumed more times than a hooked rug.
Will: Well, she looks good now, right? I don't see your point.
Hilary: Just wave a chili-cheese dog in front of her nose and see how much of your arm you come back with.
Will.

Quote from Vivian

Philip: Will, so, how did it go with Mimi Mumford?
Ashley: He struck out.
Vivian: Okay, Will, you've taken advice from Carlton, from Philip, and Geoffrey, but you have not gone to the most logical source: the woman of the house. Now, before I was married, I had my share of admirers.
Philip: A sorrier bunch of deadbeats you'll never meet.
Vivian: The ones that I was most attracted to were the ones who were secure enough to just be themselves. And that's my advice to you. Just be yourself.
Will: Thanks, Aunt Viv.

Quote from Will

Carlton: So, Will, are you going to take Mom's advice?
Will: Man, you got to be crazy. Mimi wants a street-wise, Harley, bad-to-the-bones type guy, man. If I could show her that I'm dangerous, I'll have her like that.
Carlton: I'll bet you wouldn't.
Will: I bet I would.
Carlton: I'll bet you wouldn't.
Will: I bet you wouldn't.
Carlton: I bet you would.
Will: See, I fooled you.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: Mimi, top of the evening.
Mimi: Carlton, for the 900th time, no, I will not go out with you.
Will: I thought you said she wasn't your type.
Carlton: She isn't. She's too negative. I'm not here for that. Although if you just gave it some objective thought...

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: Anyway, I'm here for him.
Mimi: Does he need to go to the bathroom?
Carlton: No, he's just being his bad self. What you saw before was just a charade. Kip is his street name. K-l-P. It stands for conceived in prison. He's my cousin and he's from the Bedford-Stuyvesant region of Brooklyn wherein he is a felon.
Mimi: Okay. Then what's he doing here in Bel-Air?
Carlton: He's living with us to escape, and I quote, "the man." Voila.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: This music is def, exceptionally def.
Will: Carlton, beat it!
Carlton: I'm dope. Yo.

Quote from Will

Dr. Mumford: Smithers, what is the meaning of that ridiculous hat?
Will: Who put this on my head?
Mimi: Daddy, isn't he funny?
Dr. Mumford: No. He disgusts me. Get out of my sight.
Mimi: Wait a minute. You can't talk to him like that, Daddy. He's practically a convicted killer, and I love him.
Dr. Mumford: A convicted killer? Who are you?
Will: All right, all right, all right, look. I'm not a young Republican from Connecticut and I'm not a hood from Bed-Stuy. I'm Will Smith from West Philly and I've been busting my butt all night trying to impress you and trying to scare you. And I'm exhausted. I'm going home, and I'm going to sleep 'cause, baby, ain't no girl that fly for me to go through all this trouble for. [sees another woman] Yo, baby. Yo, baby. Yo, what's up?

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: What dog did he steal that sweater from?
Toni: Probably his wife.
Hilary: Good God, who shot the couch?
Toni: Give her a break, Hilary. She just won the Kentucky Derby. Whoa, who's that lady with Nell Carter?
Hilary: That's not Nell Carter. That's my father! God, you are so shallow. I hate you. You're stupid and ugly and I wish you would die.
Toni: Sorry.
Hilary: Okay.
Toni: Whoa, look at her!

Quote from Will

Carlton: Brake! Hit the brake, Will!
Philip: Will, what in the hell are you doing?
Will: I'm sorry, man. It ain't my fault. I panicked. That squirrel came out of nowhere.

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