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‘Bang the Drum, Ashley’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Bang the Drum, Ashley

102. Bang the Drum, Ashley

Aired September 17, 1990

After Ashley admits she doesn't enjoy playing the violin, Will pawns it for it a drum set and hires her a teacher: Jazz.

Quote from Will

Philip: You will drive her to her class, you will wait for her there, and you will bring her home.
Will: Oh, come on, man, I got to sit through a hour of them scratchy violins?
Philip: Will, you might learn something.
Will: Yeah, the same thing I learned from banging my head against a pole: Don't do it again.
Philip: This is your new job. Wednesdays you are Ashley's driver. Understood?
Will: Yes'm. I'll be more than happy to drive you to the Piggly Wiggly, Miss Daisy.

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Quote from Geoffrey

Geoffrey: You know, sir, the Earl of Cranbrook to whom I was in service for several years suffered from the most severe headaches.
Philip: And you're saying these were caused by some sort of stress?
Geoffrey: I should very much doubt it. He spent his days riding to the hounds, and his evenings attending rather pleasant dinner parties with his delightful wife, Lady Celia. Now, she was a terribly good snooker player, one of the best. One night, she bet-
Philip: Geoffrey. Where does the stress come in?
Geoffrey: Well, it certainly doesn't in Lord Cranbrook's case. I never saw a calmer household.
Philip: Then what was the point of the story?
Geoffrey: Sheer entertainment, sir.

Quote from Will

Will: Ash, just because your dad likes something, doesn't mean you have to like it. I mean, he likes being a lawyer. That doesn't mean you have to be a lawyer.
Ashley: I am going to be a lawyer.
Will: Look, Ash, the world does not need another Philip Banks. In fact, we might not have enough farmland to support the one we have. No, the world needs an Ashley Banks.

Quote from Vivian

Philip: Will, I want the best for Ashley. When I was a kid, I loved classical music, but my parents couldn't afford lessons. I used to stand out in the parking lot of the Philharmonic hoping to catch a spare note on the night air.
Vivian: Philip, when I met you, you were into James Brown.
Will: He liked James Brown?
Vivian: He even wore his hair like him.
Will: He had hair?
Philip: You know, it is possible to like both classical music and James Brown.

Quote from Jazz

Philip: Practice is over, Will. Ashley, honey, it's teatime.
Jazz: Ooh, tea. Biscuits!
Philip: Geoffrey, put on our teatime music, please. You'll love this, honey. It's Brandenburg Concertos.
Will: Jazz, hit me with some sugar, man.
[Jazz throws a sugar cube across the table into Will's tea cup]
Will: How about a little milk?
Ashley: No, I'll get it.
Jazz: [holding a spoon] I thought this was sterling. It's got that certain weight to it.
[Geoffrey takes the spoon out of Jazz's hand]
Philip: Yes. This is my favorite part. Ashley, honey, this is possibly the most beautiful music ever written. Would someone turn it up for me, please?
Will: Jazz, crank it up for me.
Philip: Yes. Listen, darling. Listen to the violins. Beautiful. The oboes will be coming next.
[After Jazz starts "scratching" the record like a DJ, he is thrown out of the house]

Quote from Philip

Geoffrey: Your aspirin, sir.
Philip: Thank you, Geoffrey.
Geoffrey: Do you attribute your headaches, sir solely to the ongoing construction in your office or do you suppose there might be a stress factor involved?
Philip: This is how my day went, Geoffrey. At 9:00, they were pounding. At 10:00, they were jackhammering. By noon, a pneumatic drill came into play. And, Geoffrey, they were just repainting the office. I'd say that's cause for stress. Wouldn't you?

Quote from Philip

Philip: Geoffrey, would you tell Miss Ashley I'd like to speak to her?
Geoffrey: Right away, sir.
Vivian: Philip, now, I know you're upset, but I want you to stay calm.
Philip: [chuckles] I'm calm. I'm happy. I'm in control. You see, Vivian, I had lost control.
Vivian: "Lost control"? You drop-kicked a human being across our front lawn.
Philip: It felt good, damn it. I'm back in the saddle again.
Vivian: You know, I think living down the street from the Reagans has had a very bad effect on you.

Quote from Vivian

Vivian: Now hold on. Now, let's get this straight. Ashley, you don't have to please Will, and you don't have to please your father. You just continue with the lessons that you like best.
Ashley: Do you mean it, Mommy?
Vivian: Absolutely, sweetheart.
Ashley: Then I want to quit ballet.
Vivian: Ballet? Honey, no. But you look so cute in that little tutu.
Ashley: Oh, I really hate it, Mommy.
Vivian: But, Ashley, honey, just until Christmas?

Quote from Geoffrey

Geoffrey: Today, sir, I thought we might begin the day with an aspirin. Preventative medicine being so much the mode.
Philip: It's too late, Geoffrey. I already have a headache just anticipating that infernal hammering at the office.
Vivian: Honey, I thought the workmen were supposed be done by yesterday.
Philip: Shockingly enough, Vivian, they're behind schedule.
Hilary: Dad, it's so obvious. If all that hammering is bothering you, just tell them to quit it.
Philip: I don't even want to talk about it. These are the only moments of peace and quiet I'll have all day.
Will: [sings, o.s.] "I've got the power! I've got the power!"
Geoffrey: Another aspirin, sir? Perhaps a gun.

Quote from Carlton

Philip: Vivian, what the devil is he doing up there?
Vivian: I Got The Power by Snap. Snap is a great band.
Carlton: Well, when Crackle and Pop cut a disc, then call me. [laughs]
Will: [enters] What's so funny?
Hilary: Carlton told a joke.
Will: No, no, no, Hilary. Carlton is a joke.

Quote from Will

Ashley: Mommy, who's gonna take me to my tennis lesson after school today?
Vivian: Are you sure it's tennis today, sweetie? Maybe you'd better check your schedule.
Will: Schedule?
Ashley: Yeah, my parents bought me this calendar so I could keep my lessons straight. Didn't you have a schedule for after school at my age?
Will: Yeah, the TV Guide.

Quote from Hilary

Ashley: So, Mommy, who's going to drive me?
Vivian: Hilary?
Hilary: Look, there's a growing pollution problem in this city, and I will not contribute to it. I absolutely refuse to drive anybody anywhere until a responsible car pool is organized.
Vivian: But, Hilary, Ashley is in a car pool.
Hilary: Well, I just don't want to do it, okay?

Quote from Will

Will: Hey, Ash, that was decent to listen to that kind of music without having to see Freddy Krueger kill somebody.

Quote from Will

Philip: Ashley, honey, where is your violin?
Ashley: Big Sal has it.
Vivian: Big Sal?
Ashley: He owns this really great store where you don't need any money. You just go in and give him something you don't even want anymore, and he gives you this ticket. And then...
Philip: A pawnshop? You took her to a pawnshop?
Will: Well, yeah, it was really hard, too. You don't have many pawnshops in Bel-Air. You know, that's really a shame. You know, I had to go all the way to East LA.

Quote from Jazz

Geoffrey: Mr. Jazz.
Vivian: It's nice to meet you, Jazz.
Philip: How do you do? [extends a hand] I'm Mr. Banks.
Jazz: [slaps Philip's hand] You got that right. Man, you're loaded!

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