Trucker: Where you going?
Carlton: Los Angeles.
Trucker: Hop in.
Carlton: Oh. Phew. Thanks for picking me up. I left my wallet at the hotel. Couldn't get a cab, there are no planes or buses. Phew. Boy, am I glad to see you.
Trucker: Yeah. I'm glad to see you too. Halston?
Carlton: Whoa, this is my stop.

Philip: Will, this is Judge Walker.
Will: Hey, nice to meet you, judge.
Judge Walker: What is that smell?
Will: Uh, well, uh, don't look at me. You the one been out there swinging them golf clubs all day, you know what I mean?
Judge Walker: No. Mesquite? Barbecue. Phil, are we having barbecue? Is there something barbecued back there?
Will: Uh, yeah, you could say that.

Will: Hey, listen. Uncle Phil, why don't you show him the library? Man, Uncle Phil got some books. Britannica, Webster's, Playboy.

Will: Whoo. Man, we dodged that bullet that time, G.
Geoffrey: We? Isn't that a pronoun that would include me?

Ashley: How did this happen?
Geoffrey: He did it.
Ashley: Does Dad know?
Will: No.
Ashley: Oh, he's gonna kill you.
Will: All right, that is exactly why we cannot let him see this till after the judge leaves. Because murderers, they're felons, and felons, they can't be judges. Kind of get where I'm going with this here? So this is our little secret, me, you and Geoffrey.
Hilary: [o.s.] Oh, my God.
Will: And Hilary.

Will: G, what is taking so long?
Geoffrey: I don't know. Lack of a kitchen?

Geoffrey: How was your dinner, sir?
Judge Walker: Oh, incredible. You are a magician.
Geoffrey: Oh, you're too kind. It was nothing. No more trouble than ordering in.

Carlton: Oh, thank God you're all right.
Will: Carlton?
Philip: What are you doing here?
Carlton: Well, when Will told me the kitchen was on fire I didn't know what to expect.
Philip: What?
Will: Um... Um... We had a little mishap in the kitchen earlier, but...
Philip: Oh!
Will: It's cool, though. It's cool, though.

Judge Walker: Oh, my God. You were able to prepare a magnificent meal like that in there? I think if I could steal you away, I would.
Geoffrey: Please, hold that thought, sir.

Will: Uh, Uncle Phil, I can explain.
Philip: Now, son, well the most important thing is that you're okay.
Will: What?
Philip: Things can be replaced.
Judge Walker: This is a special family. Vivian. Philip. Thank you for a wonderful evening. And this man will have you on the Supreme Court in no time. [exits]
[3 days later:]
Will: Uncle Phil? You gonna let me go anytime soon?
Philip: No, Will.
Will: That's cool.