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‘Burnin' Down the House’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Burnin' Down the House

601. Burnin' Down the House

Aired September 18, 1995

Will has a mishap in the kitchen ahead of an important dinner for Uncle Phil. After hearing about the emergency, Carlton leaves the Young Republicans Camp and treks home across the country.

Quote from Carlton

Hippie: So what I'm saying is, there shouldn't be a rich or poor. We should all just share the wealth, man.
Carlton: Oh, I beg to differ.
[The VW camper van pulls over and Carlton is tossed out onto the sidewalk]

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Quote from Will

Will: Ah. That was close. That was close. Oh, man. Oh, my God. I don't believe it. I almost burned the kitchen down. Oh, no! No! Auntie Em! Auntie Em!
[later:]
Will: Mama, no!

Quote from Hilary

Philip: The whole family will be there. He's gonna make his decision about who is to preside over the Show-Biz Madam Trial.
Hilary: Ew. She's so scuzzy. I mean, it's bad enough that she gets hookers for married men, but blue eye shadow? Hello.

Quote from Will

Fire Chief: Our work here is done. You okay?
Will: No, I'm not okay, man. How could I do this? I mean, it ain't like I ain't done some stupid stuff since I been out here but how am I supposed to explain this?
Fire Chief: Son, just how did this happen?
Will: I had a little accident cooking the flambe.
Fire Chief: Flambe? You torched your uncle's kitchen cooking flambe? [laughs] Black folks ain't supposed to cook flambe. You stupid. Hey, guys, sissy boy been cooking flambe. [stops laughing] I hope I've been of assistance to you.

Quote from Geoffrey

Geoffrey: Good evening, Master William.
[Geoffrey puts a bag of groceries on the burnt counter, which then fall to the ground. He walks over to the refrigerator and places a bag of groceries through the hole in the door. He walks over to Will, picks up a burnt-out stool and sits down on the frame.]
Geoffrey: Of all the rooms to burn in your uncle's house. The kitchen. Are you mad, boy?

Quote from Will

Will: lxnay on the Indian food. Judge can't take spicy. [sprays water on the chicken] Come on, don't just stand there. Help me.
Geoffrey: This is insanity. I want no part of this, Master William. You have gone too far.
Will: Look, if I got to hose down some poultry to pull this off, that's what I'm gonna do. Are you with me?
Geoffrey: Oh.
Will: [grabs sauce bottles] Red or brown? G, red or brown?
Geoffrey: Don't make me choose.
Will: Red or brown?
Geoffrey: Ooh. Brown.

Quote from Will

Will: Oh, Lord, help me, no!
Philip: Pardon me.
Will: Hey, look, Uncle Phil, no disrespect, man but you got to watch where you parking that thing. Man, you know, get some flashing lights or some horns or something. [imitates beeping] I'm gonna just go ahead and shut up now.
Philip: You've been sitting on this couch all morning. A little bored?
Will: Oh, no, man. I'm cool. What you reading?
Philip: A postcard from Carlton. He's doing something with his summer.
Will: [as Carlton] "Dear Big Guy. Thanks a lot for sending me to Young Republicans Camp. Yosemite's really neat. Hey, I'm rooming with Newt's nephew, Fig."
Philip: I wouldn't make fun of them. These kids are the future leaders of this country.

Quote from Will

Philip: You know why you're bored, don't you? You miss your cousin Carlton.
Will: Pfft. Ha! Please, me miss Carlton? Pfft. I forgot all about him. Did he say when he coming back?

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: Hi, everyone, guess what. Wolfgang Puck is coming on my show on Monday. We're doing a cooking segment together.
Geoffrey: Miss Hilary in the kitchen? [laughs]
Will: Hey, you know what? That's cool, Hil. What say we go hook something up now? I'll help you practice.
Hilary: Help me cook? You must really be bored.

Quote from Geoffrey

Will: Yeah, you know, that is a little stank. Hey, G, imagine a dude so desperate that he'll pay for sex.
Geoffrey: Imagine that.

Quote from Philip

Philip: In any event, this is a career-making case so I thought it'd be a good idea to have the judge over and...
Will: Kiss his butt?
Philip: Exactly. And I expect all of you to be on your best behavior. Do I make myself clear, Will?
Will: Yo, I'm gonna be cool, Uncle Phil. It's a couple of these other rabble-rousers you need to be worried about.

Quote from Philip

Ashley: Guys, I need help. I'm gonna rehearse with J.L. and I can't decide what to wear. I really like this one.
Philip: Ah. Well, the only way you're gonna wear this one is if you wear that one over it.

Quote from Will

Will: Hey, Ashley, come on, you don't need J.L. to help you. I'll rehearse the play with you.
Ashley: God, Will, you must be really...
Will: Bored! Yes. Yes, I'm bored. I'll do anything with anybody. Now, somebody ask me to do something.
Philip: I'm gonna go practice my swing.
Hilary: I have better things to do.

Quote from Will

Philip: Geoffrey, call the club and confirm our foursome with Judge Walker and his wife, please.
Geoffrey: Sir.
Will: Whoa, a foursome. You're getting a little freaky in your old age, huh, Uncle Phil? [car horn]
Philip: Coming, Vivian.
Will: Hey, hey, Uncle Phil. You know, this is your last chance to make that a fifthsome. [car roars off] Call me from the country club, all right? You know the number.

Quote from Geoffrey

Hilary: But, Geoffrey, you have to teach me how to flambe. If I don't learn I'm gonna look stupid on my show.
Geoffrey: I'm afraid that ship has sailed.
Will: Hey, come on, G, I wanna flambe.
Hilary: Will, this is a private lesson. Geoffrey can't be bothered trying to teach a moron to cook. Right, Geoffrey? [Geoffrey is silent]

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