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Burnin' Down the House

‘Burnin' Down the House’

Season 6, Episode 1 -  Aired September 18, 1995

Will has a mishap in the kitchen ahead of an important dinner for Uncle Phil. After hearing about the emergency, Carlton leaves the Young Republicans Camp and treks home across the country.

Quote from Geoffrey

Will: Yeah, you know, that is a little stank. Hey, G, imagine a dude so desperate that he'll pay for sex.
Geoffrey: Imagine that.

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Quote from Philip

Philip: In any event, this is a career-making case so I thought it'd be a good idea to have the judge over and...
Will: Kiss his butt?
Philip: Exactly. And I expect all of you to be on your best behavior. Do I make myself clear, Will?
Will: Yo, I'm gonna be cool, Uncle Phil. It's a couple of these other rabble-rousers you need to be worried about.

Quote from Philip

Ashley: Guys, I need help. I'm gonna rehearse with J.L. and I can't decide what to wear. I really like this one.
Philip: Ah. Well, the only way you're gonna wear this one is if you wear that one over it.

Quote from Will

Will: Hey, Ashley, come on, you don't need J.L. to help you. I'll rehearse the play with you.
Ashley: God, Will, you must be really...
Will: Bored! Yes. Yes, I'm bored. I'll do anything with anybody. Now, somebody ask me to do something.
Philip: I'm gonna go practice my swing.
Hilary: I have better things to do.

Quote from Will

Philip: Geoffrey, call the club and confirm our foursome with Judge Walker and his wife, please.
Geoffrey: Sir.
Will: Whoa, a foursome. You're getting a little freaky in your old age, huh, Uncle Phil? [car horn]
Philip: Coming, Vivian.
Will: Hey, hey, Uncle Phil. You know, this is your last chance to make that a fifthsome. [car roars off] Call me from the country club, all right? You know the number.

Quote from Geoffrey

Hilary: But, Geoffrey, you have to teach me how to flambe. If I don't learn I'm gonna look stupid on my show.
Geoffrey: I'm afraid that ship has sailed.
Will: Hey, come on, G, I wanna flambe.
Hilary: Will, this is a private lesson. Geoffrey can't be bothered trying to teach a moron to cook. Right, Geoffrey? [Geoffrey is silent]

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: And I'm telling you that Waterworks and the Electric Company are depreciable assets.
Man: I don't care, you still have to pay a luxury tax.
Carlton: My dad will know.
[elsewhere:]
Will: [answers the phone] Hey, hello? Hello? Hey, Carlton, look, I can't talk right now. The kitchen's on fire. I'm burning the house down.
[back:]
Carlton: My house is on fire. I have to leave now. [grabs the money]

Quote from Will

Will: G, G, I'm telling you, it was an accident, man. Remember I came in here and I watched you poof the flambe? I had liked it. So then, I came in and I had poofed. But I poofed big. Too big. And I poofed the kitchen down.

Quote from Geoffrey

Will: G, Uncle Phil's big dinner is tonight. Hey, hey. Man, look, you gotta help me fix this.
Geoffrey: Good day, Master William.
Will: G, G, where you going?
Geoffrey: I had a night of work ahead of me in this kitchen but now, as you can see, there is no kitchen. Farewell.
Will: G, hold on.
Geoffrey: Cheerio.

Quote from Will

Will: Hey, thanks a lot, G. All right. Look, I'm gonna go upstairs, I'm gonna see if I can find a restaurant that'll deliver. And why don't you stay down here and see if you can pine solve this little problem down here?

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